Well, 2017 is almost outta here! It’s been one heck of a year. When it comes to a fulfilling relationship with your spouse, 2017 either knocked your socks off or left you wanting. If you’re one of the lucky ones, you and your spouse took on the world like Bonnie and Clyde. You were in this life together. Your relationship was untouchable and everyone around you knew it. Your plan for 2018 is to take it up a notch and make it even better.
Other relationships, however, may not have been so fortunate. Whether there were arguments almost daily, concerns of infidelity, severe financial setbacks, or emotional and mental struggles, there were some unions that took a hard hit this past year. Truth be told, you can’t wait to reset the clock and give your relationship a much needed shot in the arm.
Well, who says you have to wait. The truth is that you can reset the clock at any time, anywhere. If your marriage appears terminally ill, there’s no time like the present to turn things around. So, starting now and throughout 2018, here are some ways you can change your marriage and get it healthy once again.
Detox Your Relationship and Get Rid of the Crap
The first step to changing the health of your marriage is to rid it of everything that’s weighing it down. Just as you would begin a healthy change to your body with a well planned cleanse, your marriage needs the same kind of detoxification. Start by getting rid of the bad habits that have your communication with your spouse completely clogged up.
- Shouting instead of talking
- Accusing instead of asking
- Defending instead of apologizing
- Ignoring instead of acknowledging
- Leaving instead of listening
If your modus operandi has been any of the above, it’s time to ditch those bad habits and grow up. Typically, marriage is between two adults. Put childish ways behind you and give your love a healthy dose of maturity. And, just like after a good poop, you’ll begin to feel so much better, not to mention grateful for the much needed relief.
Feed Your Love the Right Kinds of Foods
Once you’ve started to cleanse your relationship, the next step is to nourish it with good, healthy “food.” With your physical body after a cleanse, you want to introduce the kinds of foods that will continue to promote good health and provide abundant energy. A marriage is no different. Food to a marriage is anything that you put into it. So, introduce…or re-introduce the things that made you fall in love with your spouse – and your spouse fall in love with you – in the first place.
- Talk….ALOT….for hours.
- Laugh even more than you talk.
- Encourage each other just like in the old days.
- Find out what your spouse desires, then surprise them with it.
- Spend time together…ALONE…without the kids.
- Get dolled up before a date. Get dolled up even if there is no date.
- Pray together so you can stay together.
I know that some of these things are straight up elementary. But, when you’re starting over, you have to return to the basics to regain your health and strength.
Exercise and Put Your Love to Work
If you’ve ever done a cleanse without exercising, you know you don’t get as much out of it as you could if you were putting your muscles to work. Needless to say, your routine has to be modified to appropriately handle your doctor’s suggested nutritional intake. But to get the most out of the changes you are making, that physical connection is important. I’m sure you see where I’m going with this.
Once you begin to feed your relationship the right kinds of “food,” the emotional and physical health of your marriage will begin to improve. Take advantage of that! Sweet talk each other. Flirt with each other. Touch each other. Make love to each other. Enjoy each other as much and as often as possible. At first, it may feel a bit awkward. But remember, you’re trying to turn things around starting now, so push through and allow your emotional and physical memory to begin to take over.
Professional Training Can Be Your Friend
If you’ve ever had a nutritionist plan your meals or a personal trainer lead your workouts, you know they’ve got the skills that will take your health to the next level. In your marriage, don’t go to sleep on professional counseling. Laugh at the stigma and decide with your spouse that your relationship is worth giving a professional chance. Seek guidance from a counselor that’s spiritually and socially acceptable to you both. It could be your pastor or Christian counselor. It could be a couple you admire whose relationship you would like to imitate. Just make sure it’s someone you both trust and are confident will have your best interest at heart.
Yes, 2018 is around the corner. But why put off for tomorrow what you can begin today. Get started on those changes right now and have 2018 become the best year of your married life.
BMWK, are you ready to get started on a healthy marriage for the new year?