I’ve often heard that divorced people are not qualified to give relationship advice. As a divorced mother, I disagree, and here are my reasons why:
1. I want to help someone else. As a single-again lady, I have learned immense lessons that I believe can help others. Thoughts on how to choose a spouse, what are red flags in relationships, and the topic of decision-making within the context of marriage are situations I experienced and failed in. I realize my mistakes in those areas and I want to share so others can avoid what I went through.
2. You don’t have to jump in the river to know you will get wet. Even without personally experiencing an intact, healthy marriage or a lasting relationship, I know that some principles, when applied correctly and within the proper context, work. Thoughts such as practicing healthy forms of communication, erecting healthy boundaries to protect your relationship, and so on, are concepts I’ve seen demonstrated all around me via mentors and friends. I can’t wait to live out these principles in my own life!
3. I’m preparing myself for a healthy relationship and I don’t want to do it alone. Recently I’ve been posting discussion questions on my Facebook page. Some of them are personal inquiries, and some were from friends who in-boxed me and asked me to post. The degree of discussions we’ve had have been very enlightening. Married couples have responded to some of my discussions (once I had two husbands chime in on the same thread as their wives – powerful!). I internalize what I learn from these discussions and as I prepare myself for my next (and LAST) marriage, the shared information will help others in the same situation.
4. I want to inspire others. Growth and development takes time. As one who has taken the time to dissect my failed situation and have taken on my share of the blame, I am ready to assist others in their journey as well. We can grow together and get to where we desire – in healthy, lasting relationships together.
As we heal, we can help others heal. As we learn and grow, we can inspire others to grow as well. I look forward to the day when I can happily share with my readers, “I’m getting married!” As I speak on what I’ve learned so far regarding relationships, I hope to continue to inspire and help others.