Submitting to one another is something you do for each other. It is something you do for the betterment and success of your marriage. It is something you do that will help to set a standard for generations to come. Your marriage will benefit, as will the future marriages of your children and their children after them. You have the opportunity to create legacy in your marriage; submission is a part of that legacy. These four strategies are full of potential to help you succeed.
Communicate often.
Communication is the sending and receiving of a message to achieve a common understanding or common union. It does not mean agreement but standing under the mind of another to receive the message they are conveying. If a message is sent and not received, or sent and not understood, communication has not taken place.
The goal here is to communicate often. This means coming to the conversation with an open heart to hear and receive what your mate is saying and having your mate do the same. Take note, when communicating deeply, your mate has opened his or her heart to you. Use your words to support the fact that your mate trusts you enough to be vulnerable in your presence.
Stick to the mission.
Instead of thinking “mission impossible,” think “mission possible.” Direct your thoughts and openly acknowledge that this mission is possible. Now, stick to the mission. Circumstances will arise that threaten to get you off track. Don’t let them. Look beyond the challenge or thrill of today, and see your breathtaking future laid out by your mission. Use your imagination to see the possibilities even before they unfold.
You want a new pair of shoes, but it’s not time because a financial goal stated in your mission for this year is to pay down your debt by $10,000. Release the momentary thrill of buying the shoes, and dig into the thrill of freedom that being $10,000 out of debt will bring.
You will have opportunities every day, every hour, to make decisions that support your mission. Recognize that every choice you make has a consequence. Ask yourself if that consequence supports your marriage mission.
Demonstrate love for your mate with no strings attached.
Love should not come with strings attached. Neither should submission. Remember submission is something you do for each other. It is not something used to get one’s way or to manipulate your mate through control, by making them feel guilty, withholding sexual relations, withholding finances, or the like. Avoid thought processes such as “I did this, so you should do that.” That’s “tit for tat,” something employed by children. Childish ways do not support an adult marriage.
Unconditional love, or love with no strings attached, is patient and kind. This kind of love doesn’t keep a record of everything you’ve done wrong and use it against you. If this love is patient, it must also be slow to get angry. This love protects and perseveres. Yet and still, this love is not foolish or a sign of weakness. It takes a person who is confident in themselves to love like this. It is up to you to make the daily decision, consciously or unconsciously, to love without strings attached. You can do it. Offer your mate this type of love and experience the results it brings.
Lay aside your ego and place your mate above your position.
Loving with no strings attached may require setting aside your ego and placing your mate above your position. After all, who loves you back, your position or your mate?
If you take on the attitude of “people first,” or “people before position,” it will be easier to set aside your ego for your mate. As husband and wife, there should be no competition for value or worth between you. You are both valuable as people and equally valuable partners in your union together. In the workforce, there may be a place for competition and trying to outshine the next person to gain promotion—not so in your marriage. Be there for each other. Make a constant effort to elevate each other. In that, you edge out ego in your marriage.
As you evolve and experience life together, enjoy the unity that comes as you move through this process. Unity has the power to strengthen your marriage; let it do its work. Enjoy the evolution as you continue to grow and move from one victory to another within your marriage relationship. Submit to the mission, thereby submitting to one another.
BMWK, are you ready to submit to one another?