by Alyssa Rachelle,
She is the first person you call after he proposes. Her approval during your wedding dress shopping is essential. You wanted to be just like her while growing up.
She’s your mother.
The mother-daughter relationship can be a complex one. A lifelong relationship that has been filled with laughter, tears, frustration and valuable lessons. Now that you are preparing for the beginning of another special union, your wedding planning journey is the place where these connections intersect. With all of the various emotions that come with wedding planning, an excited mother can be a bit overwhelming. But there are plenty of great opportunities to work with your mother during this most special time.
Here are four ways to retain a healthy relationship between you and your mother during your wedding planning journey.
1. Realize that she is just as happy as you are.
As soon as your engagement is announced, your mother cannot wait to begin planning (especially if she approves of your husband-to-be). This sense of urgency comes with a barrage of questions and suggestions that have yet to enter your mind. If you feel that she’s coming across too strong, let her know that you are just enjoying being engaged and that you will let her know when you are ready to begin planning. Taking the opportunity to share in your happiness can set the stage for the entire planning process.
2. Communicate your vision for your special day.
Your mother has been thinking about this day for a very long time, possibly before you were born. So, it’s quite natural for her to have a vision of your wedding planning journey as well as the Big Day. Although she will want to be highly involved in major decision making – choosing the linens, the flowers and your wedding dress – it’s very important that she understands your vision at the very beginning. If your mother insists on any of her suggestions or opinions, respectfully explain that you and your groom have plans to make those particular decisions together.
3. Accept her willingness to help.
Your mother’s energy has to go somewhere, so why not redirect her focus onto the needs of your wedding!? Delegate specific duties to her that you know she is capable of handling and ones that are in her area of expertise. Be very specific in what you need done and express the deadline. If you find that your mother isn’t working in a timely manner, enlist a bridesmaid or two to help her.
4. Create quality time.
While planning a wedding, it is very easy to discuss details of the wedding frequently. In order to give yourself a breather and to keep a healthy relationship with your mother, it is important to spend time with her without discussing the wedding. Designate one or two days per week to discuss the details and participate in activities that you both enjoy. This will be a great time to take a break from all wedding activities and connect with your mother.
*It’s important to remember that if your mother is contributing to you becoming frustrated or overwhelmed, be honest with how you feel and talk to her when you’re calm. After-all, this is your one time planning… and you want it to not only be a smooth experience, but also one that enhances your mother-daughter bond at the same time.
Happy Planning!
Alyssa Rachelle is a writer and co-host of The J. Reall and Aly G Show on FourFiveWorldwide.com.