We all make mistakes. Sure, some are much bigger than others, but when all is said and done, we all fall short in some areas. When we make mistakes, it never feels good. Feeling like you made a bad decision, or like you came up short, can come with many repercussions. What’s often harder to deal with than the mistakes that impact us on just a personal level are the mistakes that have an impact on the people we love the most.
It’s been said many times before, but I will say it again: no marriage is perfect. Conflict occurs and mistakes are made. And mistakes certainly don’t mean that your marriage is trouble. If anything, I would suspect that the couples that claims there have been no mistakes, are the ones in trouble.
Whether you’ve been married for 5 months or 50 years, I’m sure you have accepted the fact that mistakes will happen. Some of them may have been avoidable, while others are simply the result of moving through life and managing the unexpected. We don’t always make the right call.
But what most happily married couples will tell you is this; they make an effort to avoid some mistakes because they know those mistakes can permanently damage their union. They also know that that some mistakes can’t be avoided, so it’s best to avoid what they can.
No one is saying you should shoot for a mistake-free marriage. However, when it comes to making mistakes, any marriage is better off if you try to stick to the small stuff. Here are 5 huge mistakes to avoid in your marriage.
Not honoring your word. I don’t think any marriage can work well when someone in the relationship is not honoring his or her word. Your word is your bond. If you promise to be faithful, you can’t step out on your spouse. If you promise to provide, you can’t sit on the couch doing absolutely nothing and never pursuing any of your dreams. Lying and breaking promises are the biggest marital mistakes anyone can make.
Disrespecting your spouse. It is imperative that you respect your spouse at all times. This doesn’t mean you always agree with them or love all their ideas and decisions. It simply means that you respect them as a person and you will always treat them as such (and expect the same in return).
Completely neglecting yourself. This may seem like it’s only a personal issue, but it’s not. Each partner has a responsibility to practice a level of self-care. When you get married you should take excellent care of yourself mentally, physically and spiritually—not just for your spouse, but most importantly for yourself.
Putting your career before your marriage. Pursuing a career is important. I get that. Not only can it serve as the way you make a living, but it can also be linked to your deepest passions and your purpose in life. However, I firmly believe that your marriage will suffer if you make your career the priority all the time. There will be busy seasons where the hours are long and the hustle is harder than usual, but even then, your spouse should always feel like your marriage comes first.
Not showing appreciation. If there is one thing men and women have in common, it’s the need to feel appreciated. Your spouse may not be perfect, but it’s a huge mistake to make them feel like you don’t appreciate all the things that they do for you—especially the little things.
BMWK: Can you think of a few more mistakes that marriages can avoid?