You’ve made the decision to trust God regarding your mate, which is wise. But the challenge is that you didn’t think that God would take this long.
Like most, you desire companionship, but not at the cost of your sanity, self-esteem or dignity. People would have you to settle, but you know that God has someone just for you.
During your time of waiting, God wants to prepare you for your mate. In the book of Esther 2:12-14, Esther went through a preparation process before going before the king. God wants to do the same for you in an effort to develop, strengthen and equip you for the Godly marriage He desires.
Here are five foundational areas that God will mature during your singleness, which will not only prepare you for marriage but will benefit you and your potential mate for a lifetime.
Healing Your Heart
Acts 13:22 states that David was a man after God’s own heart. Where is your heart? Is it wrapped up in God, or is it distorted by past relationships, or tormented by a desperate need for a mate?
Maya Angelou said, “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”
Although the quote states a woman, the same is true for men; a man’s heart should be so hidden in God that a woman has to seek God just to find him.
During this time of singleness give your heart fully to the Lord. Permit God to expose any issues, hurts, and pains that need His healing touch. Let God have your heart so that His desires will become your desires. You becoming whole, healed and free, is a blessing to yourself and a potential mate.
Developing an Intimate Relationship with God
Song of Solomon 6:3 states I am my beloved’s, And my beloved is mine. God wants you to experience his everlasting love. You are His child, and as such, He wants to shower His love upon you. He longs to develop an intimacy with you that surpasses any relationship you’ve encountered.
As you begin to cultivate this relationship, you will fine tune your ability to hear and recognize God’s voice. Hearing and knowing the voice of God is the best gift that you could give yourself or a significant other. The camaraderie, wisdom, insight and revelation that comes from this type of intimacy is life changing for you and those you encounter.
Loving Yourself
In Psalms 139:14, David states that he is fearfully and wonderfully made, and so are we. As such, embrace the beauty of your unique design. We are all perfectly imperfect. Instead of discounting your beauty or comparing yourself to others, spend this time loving who God made you to be, tall, short, skinny, fluffy, freckles, red hair, etc.
If you don’t love and appreciate you, how do you expect someone else to?
Spend time learning to appreciate and love your uniqueness. You are beautiful and perfectly created by God. Own it! As you do, the true radiance of your beauty will shine through for others to appreciate as well.
Understanding Real love
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is the true definition of love. Are you ready to love someone in their imperfection?
Are you ready to forgive and still co-exist in the same space after an intense argument?
Are you ready to forgive an intentional wrong or offense?
Are you ready to trust a person again after trust has been broken?
Are you willing to be transparent and fully give your heart to someone and trust them not to take it for granted, but love you the best way they know how?
Are you ready to compromise and not have your way all the time? Are you ready to stay in the relationship for better or for worse?
Are you ready to love someone unconditionally?
Are you ready to love according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8? If not, spend this time in your singleness letting God teach you how to love the way He loves.
Applying the Fruit of the Spirit
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience (long-suffering), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” -Galatians 5:16-26. In all of our relationships, intimate, platonic and casual we should be displaying the fruit of the spirit. During your singleness, allow the Holy Spirit to strengthen you in these areas.
Embracing and applying the Fruit of the Spirit to your life, now, will enable you to implement them in your intimate relationship a lot quicker. Trust me; all nine will be tested on a regular basis.
Read: Fruit of the Spirit: A Blueprint to a Happy Marriage
Relationships are a matter of the heart, so it’s no surprise, that the heart is the area where the Lord does His foundational work. As you begin to open yourself to His leading, you will become equipped to nurture the authentic relationship you desire.