If we were all able to accept our realities, there is no question that we would live happier, healthier lives. No matter how painful the truth seems, people who are truly in tune with what’s going on in their lives have the best chance of living happy ones. Embrace your personal truths and your life will change for the better.
When you are unable to be honest with yourself about what’s going on in your life, pain will ultimately follow. You can’t address issues you won’t accept. You can’t fix anything if you swear it’s not broken.
I think of my tribe as the circle of people I turn to help me enjoy life and face life’s toughest challenges.
What do you do if the reality you are facing is too painful to embrace? I believe that is when you call on your tribe. We should all have one. I think of my tribe as the circle of people I turn to help me enjoy life and face life’s toughest challenges. They are the people that never judge me but truly get me. Having these people in my life makes life a whole lot sweeter.
So why is this tribe so important. Because without them, facing the truth about where you stand and what your situation really looks like is pretty tough.
It’s a lot easier to act like things are in order with your job, your health, or even your marriage, than it is to share a truth that you fear will bring judgment. Yet, having a circle of people you know won’t pass judgment, lets you step into your truth with courage.
Related: 5 Fears That Can Ruin Your Marriage
One of the biggest problems with the lies we tell ourselves is how much those lies begin to interfere with the areas of our lives that matter most. Not only is your failure to accept the truth hurting you on a personal level, but it is also doing damage to the relationships that matter to you most, like the ones with your children and your spouse. If you cannot accept the truth about what’s going on in your life, your marriage will suffer.
So, what are some lies that can damage your marriage?
Lie # 1 – It’s not a big deal if your health is not a priority right now.
I don’t care who you are, if your health is not a priority and you are walking around like that is okay, you need to know that it’s NOT okay. Everything from your weight to how much you sleep has an impact in how you move through the world. Having healthier habits gives you more confidence, it improves your moods, and it has a positive impact on your relationships. Your health MUST be a priority. Telling yourself otherwise is lie you cannot afford.
Lie #2 – You are fine with putting your dreams on hold.
Stop the lies now! No one is really fine with putting his or her dreams on hold. You can lie to yourself and say it’s okay because you are doing it for your spouse and your kids, but deep down you probably feel unsettled.
The truth is you wish you could figure out how to make your dreams come true and still care for the people you live. And with some help, your probably can figure it out. Dreams are not meant to be abandoned. They are meant to come to life.
Lie #3 – You don’t have a spending problem.
Living in some false reality about your spending habits can bring tons of problems your way. And when it comes to overspending, if you can’t embrace the root of the problem your ability to change that behavior is very limited.
Acknowledging the truth about your finances will change who you are as a person, and that will ultimately change how you interact with the world.
Lie #4 – You are happy.
Please don’t fake it ‘til you make it when it comes to happiness. That will only create more pain in your life. If you feel sad and your sadness becomes a consistent feeling of despair, you have to seek help.
The people you love—especially your children and spouse—want to help you find your happy place, but they cannot do that if you are being dishonest about where that place is. It’s okay to feel sad and discouraged, but it is not okay to pretend to be happy when you truly know you are not.
Lie # 5 – Your needs don’t matter right now.
I don’t care if you are a new mom, a newlywed, or you just started a new job, your needs will always matter. It’s not selfish to place yourself on your list of priorities. It’s actually a requirement if you want to have healthy relationships and live a joyful life.
Trying to be everything to everyone, while pushing your needs to the backburner, is just so overrated. Stop thinking of meeting your needs as something you get to if you find the time.
Be honest about the fact that your needs will always matter and meeting those need will make you a better spouse, parent, and overall person.
BMWK fam, are you telling yourself any lies that are damaging your marriage?