We saw this thought provoking article on Clucth that asks you to do some soul searching and looking in the mirror. Perhaps if you are are continuing to have problems in your relationships (with friends, with family and with romantic interests) then maybe….just maybe… you should consider that the problem may be you:
“Self-confidence! What’s not to like about it? People call you arrogant. Know-it-all. Uppity. What do they know? They’re just people. Flawed, screwy people. They aren’t you. They don’t have those special, innate, poised things you have. And you have so many things.
So why is it you don’t have a man / a good job / many friends / the life you want? It can’t be YOU can it? With that face and brain? I mean, really. It’s rude for me even to suggest that. I immediately apologize. I’m so sorry. How could I even think such a thing?
Unless…just this one, rare, odd little time. It is you. And all that “confidence” is just an elaborate shell game of defense mechanisms because you don’t want people to know that on the inside your scared and hurt just like everyone else.
Sometimes it’s you, girl.
Let me break down why.
3) You say: “People leave me because they weren’t strong enough to handle me.”
But, hey, what if you’re wrong? There’s just so much hurt and anger in what you just said.
People leave us sometimes. And that hurts. But I’m curious about why you added “they weren’t strong enough” on the end. That indicates that in your effort to rationalize why those you’ve loved have left you’ve chosen to lay it all on them, absolving yourself of any action on your part. And sometimes that’s the right thing to do. But if people are walking out because they aren’t “strong” enough, what extraordinary thing is going on about you where people need to emotionally bench press 350 lbs. of life baggage just to be close to you? Do you have a temper? Are you really needy? Are your abandonment issues so severe that you put unrealistic expectations on those around you?
If so, can I suggest therapy? Because if your anger/co-dependency/emotions are so strong that people rather run away than get to know you, you’re dealing with some serious hurt. And you should seek help.”
BMWK – Read the rest of the article Maybe It’s You: 5 Signs It’s Your Fault (Just This One Time) by Danielle C Belton. And then, come back and let us know your thoughts.