Sisterhood. This term gets thrown around so often, but what does it really mean? When you google “black sisterhood”, you’ll get over 7 million hits, some good, some not so good. I’ve shared before about how blessed I am to have some seriously amazing girlfriends in my life. And just like any relationship worth having, it takes work to keep it going strong year after year – even when you go months without even speaking. When you have a good sister-friend, you can pick up right where you last left off, be it three weeks or three months prior.
I actually find it sad when I hear other black women say they don’t have any black girlfriends, or girlfriends altogether. Sisterhood makes life so much sweeter. So if you want to maintain and be able to look back on twenty and thirty plus year friendships, here are 5 simple ways to keep your sisterhood bond in tact.
1. Keep the lines of communication open.
Texts are great for a quick check in, but when is the last time you picked up the phone? Call your girlfriend and even if you have to leave a message, at least she’ll feel special knowing that you’re thinking of her. Communication is a two-way street, so always try your best to reciprocate the love no matter how busy you get.
2. Plan it out in advance
Trust me, I get it. You’re busy, she’s busy, everybody’s busy. But guess what? That will never change. And we always make time for those things that are important to us. So get a date on the calendar 6 months in advance if you need to. There’s nothing like having your girl time live and in-person to hang out and catch up on life.
3. Create long-term memories
Yes, it’s fun to go out dancing or out to eat. But what about doing something a little different? A couple years ago, I got some of my closest girlfriends together, and we did a photoshoot, and had a good ol’ slumber party in a hotel suite. We had a chef friend cater the food to the room so we could spend more time catching up with each other as opposed to waiting in lines for tables. Maybe you can go to a painting party, or an overnight spa getaway.
4. Don’t take it personally
It may sometimes seem like your sister-friend doesn’t care about what you have going on because of the lack of encouragement or support. But just know that nine times out of ten, it has nothing to do with you. Just know that she might be going through her own stuff and doesn’t want to burden you with her troubles (or rain on your parade). So just go back to #1 and keep the lines of communication open.
5. Ask for support
Just because you post special or exciting news on social media, doesn’t mean everyone sees it. If you need or want support, pick up the phone and ask for it. Don’t assume that she sees your news and should reach out to you. If you have something important you need support on, don’t assume your sister-friend should know. Like our husbands, they aren’t mind readers either. You’d be surprised at how willing people are to help when you simply ask for it.
BMWK: How do you maintain your sisterhood bond with your girlfriends?