I’ve only been married 15 years so I don’t consider myself a pro at it, but I have learned some things that may help you in your marriage. Below is a short list I’ve compiled.
- I don’t always have to be right. Being wrong in an argument is a learning experience for me. It hurts sometime when I am wrong, but I had to learn that I won’t always be right. My husband does know some things. Ok, many things.
- I don’t have to fight about everything. Some things are not worth fighting over. I have learned to accept that some things are not going to change, like him putting the toilet paper or paper towels in the holder instead of on top or beside it. I just take the attitude of Nike and just do it. I recall all the other things he does right, like cleaning the vacuum out.
- I’ve learned his way of showing love. I swear I used to think this man didn’t love me because he didn’t tell me as often as I thought he should. But as the years go by, I realize when he keeps the car running well to ensure my safety and buys my favorite cereal when I’m running low, without me asking, he is showing me he loves me.
- It’s not what I expected. I thought marriage was going to be like and endless first date. I just knew I would feel in love every day and no one could have a relationship as great as ours. Well let me tell you, there have been days that I wished I were single! Not due to my husband’s behavior, but just because some days I don’t feel like being a wife. The feeling doesn’t last long, because I start thinking about how blessed I am to have him as my husband. I still think no one has a relationship as great as ours. Just kidding.
- It’s not all about me. My husband will tell you that I was spoiled when we first married. I felt that I had to have my way all the time, I should be able to get what I wanted when I wanted and he couldn’t tell me no. That was the immaturity refusing to grow up. I have learned to consider my husband’s feelings before making decisions. I have learned that marriage is a partnership and I was a part not the whole.
Your marriage will have its ebbs and flows, but if you check yourself in the mirror often, and be honest with what you see in the reflection, you will learn things about yourself and your marriage that can help someone else. On another note, I’ve also learned how to drive a stick shift correctly, cut and edge a yard, and how to use a drill. I am looking forward to learning more so our marriage can continue to blossom and so I may help someone else.
BMWK — What are some things you’ve learned in marriage that you’d like to share?