Whether you find yourself single, married or somewhere in between, trying to build a healthy, lasting relationship isn’t always easy. It takes time and hard work. Furthermore, it requires a level of introspection that actually makes most people uncomfortable.
But the more we are willing and able to take a closer look at who we are and how we move through the world, the more likely we are to develop a healthy relationship that will stand the test of time.
When relationships start to fail, there is often a desire to place blame. Is it my fault? Is it his fault? Can we fix this?
The thing is, there is no need to place blame. Relationships typically go south for a number of reasons. And both people involved tend to play a role. Usually, if we play a role in why things are going wrong, then it doesn’t necessarily mean we are to blame. It actually just means that we have some stuff to work through.
So what stuff am I talking about?
You know… stuff. Those issues that everyone struggles with, but no one wants to talk about. Those issues that can take over our joy and rob us of our peace of mind if we fail to get a grip on them. That kind of stuff.
And although we all have stuff, what often gets in the way of finding that “happily ever after” love is our inability or unwillingness to deal with that stuff, so it doesn’t interfere with our relationships.
Here are five personal issues that may be disrupting your love life and what you can do to turn things around.
Depression
Depression can be debilitating if measures are not taken to manage the symptoms. When someone is depressed, it affects their mood and can change their behavior. All of those changes can certainly impact the way someone interacts with his or her mate.
Because of the deeply personal nature of depression, we have to make a decision to get help if we want to limit how much it impacts our relationships. And while getting help isn’t easy, there are a number of resources available for people who suffer from depression and anxiety. It’s also helpful to ask for help from the people that love you most.
Fear
Fear can be paralyzing. And what’s challenging about fear is our inability to sometimes identify the root.
When you move through life making fear-based decisions, building a healthy relationship is tough. Sometimes our deepest fears are rooted in the past, believing that our current partner may hurt us in the way that a previous partner did. However, we have to work through our fears, so we can enter relationships with an open heart and mind. It’s okay to be scared, but it’s not okay to let fear control your life.
Professional Dissatisfaction
Miserable at your job? Unsure about what your next move should be? Frustrated that you haven’t started your own business yet? These are all issues that you have to work through.
Of course, your partner can support you as you work through these challenges, but the actual decisions you make are personal ones. Only you know what path you should take when it comes to your professional goals and doing the work God sent you here to do.
And when you accept professional dissatisfaction as a normal way of life, it starts to seep into your soul and negatively impact how you feel about your life. That will undoubtedly harm your relationship with the one you love.
Health Issues
I firmly believe that it’s hard to be happy when you are not healthy. Our health affects how we feel throughout the day. If you are suffering from any health issues and you are not doing anything to manage those issues, your relationship will suffer. Ask your mate for support if you need to, but take action to get your health in order. I promise that the better your health is, the better your chances of improving your relationship.
Ask your mate for support if you need to, but take action to get your health in order. I promise that the better your health is, the better your chances of improving your relationship.
Trust Issues
Depending on what you’ve experienced in life, I know that trusting is not always easy. But you have to know that your inability to trust is typically your personal issue—not a burden your mate needs to carry. Now if your mate has done something to compromise how much your trust him, your need to decide if you are willing to rebuild that trust or if you need to move on. However, if
Now if your mate has done something to compromise how much you trust him, you need to decide if you are willing to rebuild that trust or if you need to move on. However, if your inability to trust has to do with your past, that is an issue you have to work through so it doesn’t continue to damage what you are trying to build. The foundation of all strong relationships is trust. Without trust, happily ever after is hard to reach.
However, if your inability to trust has to do with your past, then that is an issue you have to work through, so it doesn’t continue to damage what you are trying to build. The foundation of all strong relationships is trust. Without trust, happily ever after is hard to reach.
BMWK, what do you think are some personal issues that get in the way of living happily ever after?