Sometimes, I put up one heck of a fight and kick fear in the butt, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way. As hard as it is to admit, there are times when I’ve allowed fear to win.
Fear stops us from doing what we want to do when we want to do it. Fear stops us from being who we are capable of being. Fear stunts our growth and leaves us feeling inadequate and lost. And fear doesn’t just affect us on a personal level. It finds its way into every area of our lives—even the relationships that matter to us most.
When something is capable of affecting us in such a profound way, there is no surprise that it seeps into our marriages, too. And sadly, we may not even see the impact. If you are frustrated because you know fear keeps interfering with you on an individual level, here are a few fears that might actually be harming your marriage as well.
Fear of Failure
Fear of failure stops so many of us from reaching our true potential. It can also stop your marriage from reaching greater heights. If you approach your marriage with a fear that things may not work out, then you increase the odds of things not working out. You can’t approach something like marriage with a fear that things will end.
If you made a commitment to be with someone for the rest of your life, you have to be confident things can actually last that long. If you bring positive energy into the relationship, you’ll see positivity manifest out of the relationship.
Fear of the Unknown
You don’t know what your future holds—no one does. You will face hardships in your marriage. Some days will be downright painful, while other days will overflow with joy. Although you have no idea what the future holds, you have to enjoy the present and simply plan for the future. Your plans may have to change, and that is okay.
If anything, conquer your fear of the unknown together. Walking into unknown territory with your spouse by your side should bring you both more courage. The unknown won’t destroy you unless you let it.
Fear of Rejection
Out of all the people in the world, your spouse chose you. That means something. Don’t walk through your marriage scared you will be rejected or abandoned. When you do, you often create defense mechanisms, which build walls between you and your spouse.
You have to rest assured your spouse loves you and wants you, even when you make mistakes. Fearing rejection changes how we interact with the people we love, and that stops them from experiencing how wonderful we truly are.
Fear of Being Judged
You will make mistakes in your marriage. We all do. But your mistakes won’t define you, and they should never hang over your head after they are made. Be the best spouse that you can be, and know you are loved.
If you second guess every decision because you are scared you’ll be judged, you won’t accomplish much nor give your spouse the opportunity to enjoy the authentically flawed and lovable you.
Fear of Instability
Many marriages suffer because people are scared of unemployment, financial problems and anything else that threatens the stability of their lives or their marriage. Don’t live in fear of instability. Living this way will block your blessings. Focus on what you have and on how you can build a brighter future. Living in fear of what might go wrong is no way to live.
BMWK family, what fears do you have that may be damaging your marriage?