Relationships, whether we are single or married, do not run on auto pilot. It takes work and intention to make our relationships fulfilling and long lasting. No one wants to be in a relationship that tends to run on routine and exists because two people are used to each other. Couples should look for things that will help them growing together in their relationship but also things they both will look forward to. Here are some ideas to put in practice in order to help make your relationship the best it can be:
Create New Experiences
Memories are made when we try new things together. It’s still fun and enjoyable to do something that one or both of you have already done before. But when you try something new, there is an added special bond in the moment of the experience. Trying something like parasailing, skiing or maybe a cooking class together doesn’t require either of you to be an expert to enjoy. Because you went outside of your normal box, tried something you wouldn’t normally consider and you did it together, you’ve had an extremely enjoyable experience—and it’s a memory you will have for a lifetime.
Take a Vacation
You can also take a mini-retreat for a weekend. Possibly, you could take a day at a spa together. You don’t have to have a big budget or a lot of time off from work to make some time away from work and other distractions, which keep you apart. Vacations away from the kids, work and other demands of life give us opportunities to recharge our batteries and enjoy why we are with each other in the first place. Time with each other with no distractions is the best kind of quality time.
Get a Relationship Coach
I’m a coach, so this may sound biased, but it isn’t. If we get regular checkups on our bodies, then we should get the same checkups on ourselves and our relationships. Talking to someone about your relationship works more effectively when you are not at the point of considering a break up, separation or divorce. Coaching helps you see each other’s point of view, and more importantly, it helps you decide what you want out of your relationship and how to accomplish it. Don’t wait until you are done with a relationship. Give it the checkup it needs every year or two to keep you moving forward on the same page.
Deepen Your Faith
I’m sure you have heard, “the family that prays together, stays together.” There is some truth in it, but it’s deeper than that. Praying is not about reciting words, it’s about an individual relationship with your Creator. Spend time together, to deepen your faith—together. If your faith is foundational to your core, it should be foundational to your relationship. Spend the time together to make sure you are not only on the same page as a couple in your faith, but you are growing your faith together.
Continue to Be Kind
As we grow in our relationships, we also get a bit settled and sometimes careless. When relationships start, most often, we go out of our way to be kind to each other. As we get comfortable and we discover more about each other, sometimes kindness is the first thing to leave the relationship. We don’t have to change whatever our role is in our relationship to be kind. If you are the leader in many areas, continue to lead with the heart of a servant and be kind. If you are supportive, but sometimes you two aren’t on the same page and you get frustrated, communicate your frustration, but be kind in doing so. If you care about your spouse or significant other, you should also care about their feelings, so being kind should always be as important to you as it is to them.