After being married for a while, your relationship can change. Children, busy careers, and a home to manage are just a few of the things that can cause couples to drift apart while they try to keep up with the world around them.
Feeling disconnected from your spouse is not always the result of a lack of love, infidelity, or some other major event. Many times, the disconnect is just a matter of getting caught up in the day-to-day craziness of life and failing to be more mindful about what it’s doing to your marriage. It can happen to couples with the best intentions.
Related: Successful marriages don’t ‘just happen’ – try these 3 intentional acts to take your love to the next level
When a couple is in need of a deeper connection, therapy or counseling isn’t always necessary. Sometimes a combined effort to change things within the marriage is enough to deepen the connection and create a stronger bond between husband and wife.
If you think your marriage just isn’t what it could be, but you both believe this is simply a result of life getting in the way, check out these 5 things you can do to boost your connection with your spouse and experience happier days.
Get your sexy back
Too many of us get married, have kids, and forget all about our younger, sexier selves.
I don’t care if you are male or female. I beg you to look for the sexiness within and find a way to unleash it.
Not only does this make your spouse take notice, but it also makes you feel pretty darn good about yourself. When you feel attractive and confident, it affects your mood and increases the odds that you will engage with your spouse from a place of passion and love.
Take your dates outside of the home
We’ve all read the 101 tips about the importance of dates and how we can make them happen, even when leaving the house isn’t an option. Although I have had many date nights at home, there is definitely something to be said for getting dressed up and leaving the house to date your spouse.
I think part of the appeal is the fact that it’s reminiscent of the days when you both first started dating. I know leaving the house isn’t always possible because of kids or your budget, but try to leave the home occasionally so you can really connect with the one you love.
Manage your stress more effectively
Stress is known for damaging many areas of our lives, and our most intimate relationships are often affected the most. If you are under a lot of stress and you are not managing it well, having the mental and emotional capacity to truly connect with your spouse is very hard.
Related: 5 ways stress can wreak havoc on your marriage and what you can do about it.
Self-care and effective stress management makes it a lot easier to clear your mind and connect with your spouse in a meaningful way. The longer you wait to get a grip on the stress in your life, the more you will feel disconnected from your spouse.
Communicate with intention
When life gets too busy, communicating with your spouse may be something you don’t do much, or, when you do it, it’s always about your kids or household issues.
Try to be more intentional about communicating with your spouse in ways that convey love, appreciation, and passion. A kiss before you leave for work, a thank you note in a lunch box, or a simple text message that says. “I’m thinking of you,” can make all the difference.
Redesign your bedroom
You are probably wondering what the heck this has to do with connecting with your spouse. Well, I believe your bedroom should be your sanctuary.
It’s the space where you spend a lot of time with your spouse but it often ends up being a space filled with random toys, laptops, smartphones, and other things that distract from the peacefulness that should exist.
My husband and I are currently working on redesigning our bedroom and we really believe that doing so will help us form a deeper connection. With the right décor, and the removal of items that just don’t belong, your messy bedroom can become a space that makes you feel relaxed and ready for rest (after some romance of course).
BMWK family, what are some things you’ve done to boost the connection you have with your spouse?