by Shenia Coleman Kirkland (www.1peachymama.com)
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October is Pregnancy and Newborn Loss Awareness Month. This holds a special place in my heart because I am one of the 1 in 4 women who have experienced such a loss. On April 13, 2004, our first daughter was born. And, she passed away six and a half weeks later.
The loss of a child is the most gut-wrenching and traumatic experiences that one can endure. And, after the devastating loss of our daughter, our road to parenthood was filled with anxiety, depression, and tremendous fear. I can laugh with family and friends now when I look back at how OCD I was during my two subsequent pregnancies”.... And, I thank God that I have such wonderful friends who held my hand and prayed with me during that time. *smile*
We were later blessed with two beautiful and dynamic daughters, with whom we share our lives and our love. I often say that we have been immensely blessed with an angel in heaven and two princesses on earth. To anyone who is considering trying again after a loss, this poem will resonate with you. I can truly empathize with your tears and your fears.
With that said, I dedicate this to my two princesses:
A Different Child (Written by Pandora Diane Waldron)
A different child,?
People notice?
There’s a special glow around you.
You grow?
Surrounded by love,?
Never doubting you are wanted;?
Only look at the pride and joy?
In your mother and father’s eyes.??
And if sometimes?
Between the smiles?
There’s a trace of tears,?
One day?
You’ll understand.
You’ll understand?
There was once another child
?A different child?
Who was in their hopes and dreams.
That child will never outgrow the baby clothes
?That child will never keep them up at night?
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.
Except sometimes, in a silent moment,?
When mother and father miss so much?
That different child.
May hope and love wrap you warmly
?And may you learn the lesson forever?
How infinitely precious?
How infinitely fragile?
Is this life on earth.
One day, as a young man or woman?
You may see another mother’s tears
?Another father’s silent grief?
Then you, and you alone?
Will understand?
And offer the greatest comfort.
When all hope seems lost
You will tell them?
With great compassion,?
“I know how you feel.
?I’m only here?
Because my mother tried again.”
Author’s Dedication:
For Madoka Marietta Rosalie, from your mother, ?Pandora Diane Waldron*“””””“March 4, 1999. (*Since the poem was written, the author has returned to using her maiden name and now writes as Pandora Diane MacMillan.)
Remembering, with love, and not with sadness,? our Special Angel, Rhiannon Roxane,? who left this world 2 years ago today.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: The above poem, “A Different Child” has been officially published as the epilogue to Ann Douglas’ newest book, out in October 2000, entitled, “TRYING AGAIN: A GUIDE TO PREGNANCY AFTER MISCARRIAGE, STILLBIRTH, AND INFANT LOSS.”
Until next time”.....
All the best, y’all!
Shenia Coleman Kirkland
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Shenia Coleman Kirkland is an attorney, law professor, novelist, screenplay writer and motivational speaker. She chronicles her journey from a driven corporate attorney (and feminist) to wife and work-at-home mother on www.1peachymama.com, in which she discusses the tenuous balance between motherhood, marriage and maintaining a sense of self. She would love for you to follow her on Twitter @1peachymama.