[tps_header]You’ve probably heard time and time again that marriage isn’t easy. As cliché as it sounds, it’s actually true. If it were easy, there would be far less divorce. People everywhere would be compelled to just stay together for life.
But hard doesn’t mean happily ever after is impossible. And when something is hard, it also doesn’t mean that it can’t bring you joy or that it isn’t worth nurturing. If you married the right person, the toughest moments don’t have to destroy what you have.
And although some marriages will fail despite best efforts, many marriages fail because best efforts aren’t put forth. Many unions fall flat because couples are not taking the time and putting in the effort to build a strong union.
Happily married couples don’t just happen. They aren’t just lucky people. Luck is a bunch of crap. People who are blessed enough to stay married for a lifetime manage to do it because they put in some serious work. They made wise choices. They fought the good fight.
Ever read a recipe that had all the makings of a winning meal? But then, you tried it out, and it just fell flat—only to discover you left out a few key ingredients. Well, I believe that is what sometimes happens when good marriages fail; they aren’t cooking with all the right ingredients.
If you believe you married the right person and you want to put in the work needed to make your marriage as close to bulletproof as possible, here are seven key ingredients you need to add.[/tps_header]
Communication
Effective communications skills are the cornerstone of every successful marriage. Learning to express yourself effectively is critical. And what’s more critical is the ability to truly listen to what your partner has to say. Once you make communication a priority and you put in the effort to improve your communication skills, you are on the right path.
READ: Communication: How We Went From Fussing and Fighting to Being Happily Married for 10 Years.
Self-care
When you are unable to meet your own needs, you end up having unreasonable expectations of your spouse. We are each responsible for our own health and happiness. Our spouse is simply responsible for adding to that joy. If you take care of yourself in every possible way, it will affect your mood, your level of happiness and the quality of your marriage in a very positive way.
READ: Hey, Busy Moms, Here’s What Your Lack of Self-Care is Really Doing to Your Family
Prayer
I can’t get by without prayer, and I know that’s the case for most. But I think many of us pray for our spouses and fail to pray enough for our selves while some do the exact opposite. I urge you to place a priority on praying for yourself and your spouse. When you lift your name and his name up to the Lord (and he does the same), it changes things in your lives in the most remarkable ways.
READ: The Perfect Prayer to Get the Devil Out of Your Marriage
Fun
This may seem corny, but it’s essential. You have to learn how to laugh at yourself and your spouse. Yes, life is painful and deep and serious at times, but life is also full of beauty and wonder and excitement. You have to enjoy all the little and big moments that you can with your spouse. When you learn to laugh together, you learn to cope with all the craziness life throws at you—together.
Read: Want a Happier Marriage? 7 Things that Will Take Your Marriage from Stressed to Blessed
You don’t have to always share your spouse’s dreams, but you should always try to be supportive. Speak positive words over your spouse and what he/she wants to accomplish. Offer encouragement and well wishes. Be there to support however you can. And if the dream doesn’t come to life, be there to help pick up the pieces and help your spouse focus on next steps.
READ: Ladies, If He Really, Truly Loves You, He’ll Do These 5 Things
Protection
It’s so easy for people to interfere with your relationship, but don’t let them. If you need counseling or therapy, that is certainly fine. Even seeking advice from a trusted friend or couple is okay. But when you begin to share your business with everyone, it poses a problem. The world doesn’t need to know about all the details of your marriage. Protect what you have and only share with people that can truly help you and have your best interest at heart.
READ: Do You Have an In Case of Emergency Contact List for Marriage Support?
Honesty
If you can’t be honest with the person you promised to love, honor and respect for the rest of your life, you have a huge problem. Honesty is key. Share your feelings. Tell your mate about your struggles. Open up about fears and concerns. Confess mistakes made and how you want to make things right. Just be honest. Anything less is going to damage your marriage.
READ: Can Your Marriage Survive Without True Friendship?
[tps_footer]BMWK family, what are some things you do to make your marriage bullet proof? [/tps_footer]