Like many (most?) working moms, there have been a couple times in our marriage where I felt like my husband wasn’t pulling his weight and it was taking a toll on our relationship. My husband had unfortunately reached the point where he stopped listening, because night after night it was the same conversation about what he didn’t do, as opposed to all the ways he contributed around the house.
During one particularly difficult conversation, my husband threw his hands up. “Doesn’t matter what I say,” he said, tired. “No matter what I do, it’s not good enough.” That was a turning point for me, because I didn’t want my husband to feel like I was Queen She-can’t-be-pleased.
So I had to take an honest look at our relationship and all the ways my husband comes through for me, on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. In only five minutes of brainstorming, I figured out that my husband serves as:
- Tech support. When I’m on deadline for a class project and the printer suddenly stops working, or the garage door won’t open for some reason, I know he will be able to fix it.
- Security. There’s a bump in the night? He slinks downstairs with the baseball bat to check out what’s happening. (Glad it ain’t me!)
- Child care provider. I know they are his kids too, so no, he is not babysitting. But I’m talking about him taking the kids out of the house for a couple hours on Saturday afternoon so I can relax in the house without the headache that accompanies a 4-year-old and a 3-year-old.
- Landscaper. He gets down and dirty making sure our exterior doesn’t cause the neighbors to complain. I used to give him grief on how long it took, now I’m just happy he cares so much.
- Cheerleader. While he might not have the pom-poms and the hand claps, he is definitely my biggest cheerleader and my biggest supporter.