by Nicole Taylor
So you want to get married? Are you completely sure about that? Have you prepared yourself for what marriage entails?
If you have a subscription to a bridal magazine, know which ring you want and have already appointed your best friend the duty of being your maid of honor, check out these seven points on marriage. If you’ve got your best man picked out or you’re thinking of where you’ll take your bride to be for a honeymoon, read this post first. If when you reach the last point you’re still ready, I’ll bid you my blessings and await my invitation in the mail.
Here’s what you should know”...
Marriage Doesn’t Create Happiness: You must be happy on your own before you can expect your mate to bring added joy. Looking for a mate to fill a void and heal past wounds is an unrealistic expectation.
Marriage Doesn’t Complete You: You must be whole within yourself to ever feel complete. Your spouse will compliment you as an individual but they will NEVER make you whole.
The Honeymoon Phase Isn’t 12 Months: The first year of marriage can be difficult because it’s basically spent unlearning those things you’ve been doing as a single person and now learning how operate as a team. I call this the “desensitizing stage.”
The Beauty Takes Work: And a lot of it! But nothing worth having comes easy. Marriage don’t last and remain filled with love simply because you said “I Do”. It requires a work ethic and dedication that’s devoted to growing deeper in love each day.
It’s More Than An Image: Many people get married for the “look” or the bragging rights to claim a “husband/wife,” but marriage is more than a title. It’s a lifestyle that requires you to live by vows.
Falling In Love Is The Easy Part: It’s the growing and staying in love that requires the dedication. Knowing the difference between pure infatuation and authentic love will help because no matter what you go through, if the love is real, you’ll always be able to hold on and continue moving forward.
Marriage Isn’t 50/50: There will be times when you will feel as though you’re doing “more” than your spouse; working on the marriage more, cooking more, cleaning more, caring more, loving more. If you expect every chore, penny, argument, apology, decision, task, etc. to be split down the middle, you’ll soon realize that your expectations are not marriage specific.
Yes, marriage is a major step in life that requires a lot from you, but the benefits of this union are remarkable! I believe that finding your soul’s mate and spending eternity together is one of the greatest blessings life can give us, but correctly preparing yourself for his arrival is vital to its longevity.
What do you think? Are you truly ready for marriage? Had you considered these things? If you’re married, what else should single people know before an engagement?
Nicole is the creator of Afrochcimommy.com, a community that empowers, inspires and motivates the modern woman. Once a working single parent in college and now an entrepreneurial mommywife, she understands the mandatory need for encouragement along life’s journey.