The hashtag for this week’s episode of Being Mary Jane was #BMJFinale but it should have been #NoMoreDrama for when enough is enough.
Speaking of which, when do you say enough is enough?
- When do you fight for your happiness and not the acceptance of others?
- When do you allow yourself to say the truth in love to those around you and not feel guilty?
- When do you put yourself, your feelings, you emotions, your happiness, your peace of mind, first?
- When does your life become all about YOU, instead of the happiness and comfort of others?
This week’s episode of Being Mary Jane was filled with the daily drama that engulfs Mary Jane Paul’s life. But this week, instead of standing by and allowing the drama to take over, Mary Jane took back her control and put drama in its proper place
Mary Jane Paul showed us how to be drama free in our relationships in 4 easy steps.
Step 1: When drama comes barging in, establish boundaries and kick it out.
In the opening scene, Mary Jane received a visit from her ex-boyfriend’s (David) mother, Simone. She was in town visiting her new granddaughter, courtesy of David and his girlfriend.
Fueled by her selfish desire for Mary Jane and David to reconcile, Simone barged into Mary Jane’s house to plead her case. Not once in her selfish antics did she take into consideration Mary Jane’s feelings – the hurt, disappointment, and betrayal that she experienced at the hands of her son.
Mary Jane tolerated Simone as long as she could and finally fought back and defended herself. This caused Simone to realize what she was asking Mary Jane to do; in other words, if the shoe were on the other foot, she herself wouldn’t be able to do it either, which was forgive.
Mary Jane held Simone to a standard causing her to be accountable – an accountability that Simone didn’t want to face. But she had to as Mary Jane politely kicked her out of her house.
You control drama. Drama doesn’t control you.
Lesson: When drama comes knocking at your door, don’t answer it. But if you do, kick it out as soon as possible and establish your boundaries. You don’t owe drama an explanation. And you are not obligated to make drama comfortable in your life.
Step 2: If you aren’t willing to fight for a relationship, then be honest and don’t pursue it.
Mary Jane recently started dating outside of her race and isn’t very comfortable with the situation. She can’t shake the stares and opinions of others in her race and has decided that this “arrangement” is just that, an arrangement.
She wants a relationship with a black man and is not willing to fight for nor deal with the negativity associated with interracial relationships.
Lesson: Be honest with yourself. Choose the battles you are willing to fight and stay true to your decision. State your truth. If the other person is on board, great. If not, keep it moving.
Step 3: When people continuously take advantage of you, silence the drama
Mary Jane was being blackmailed and initially she didn’t fight because her job was in jeopardy. The blackmailer quickly became greedy and Mary Jane decided that it had to end. Instead of continuing to allow the person to take advantage, Mary Jane silenced the drama and the mouth of her supposed frenemy.
Lesson: You control drama. Drama doesn’t control you, unless you allow it. You are in the driver’s seat of your life, choose to drive and kick the manipulators and leeches out of your life.
Step 4: When the drama of your past comes your way just let it pass you by
While out with a friend, Mary Jane ran into her ex, David, and his new family. Instead of pretending to care and making small talk, Mary Jane turned her back towards them and stayed busy.
It was painful to see them together with baby in tow, but it also showed Mary Jane how far she had come. When drama comes to take you backwards, say bye Felicia! Acknowledge how far you’ve come and the strides you’ve made and celebrate you.
Lesson: Don’t go backwards, choose to keep moving forward. The past promises nothing but more disappointment and pain but the present is so much brighter. It is all about you.
Mary Jane didn’t always handle the situation correctly and at times she allowed drama to wear out its welcome. But she finally decided enough was enough and took matters into her own hands. Have you had enough?
Examine where you might need to make some changes, cut off a few relationships and re-examine who you allow to have access to your life. You’ve come a long way. Don’t allow drama to pull you down.
BMWK, are you ready for drama free relationships?