Have children from previous relationships? Wondering how to blend into one happy family? Here are some tips I found useful when I got married. I had a two year old son and my husband had no children, so he stepped into the role like a pro to help me raise my son. Excuse me, our son. Below are the three main requirements I’ve learned in the past 16 years that are essential for a peaceful blended family.
1. Trust. You trusted him/her enough to say yes to the proposal, trust them to help raise your child/children. If you are struggling in this area, please share your concerns and fears with your partner, don‘t keep them to yourself. Keep talking and sharing with each other.
2. Communication. No one can read minds, if there is an issue or you don’t agree with something, talk to your partner. Also, keep lines of communication open with the children. Communicate what is expected from the kids and from each other. Share your feelings with your spouse and be respectful of their feelings.
3. Respect. It is crucial to respect each other especially in front of the kids. Kids are clever and can be manipulative. If they see an opening to play you and your spouse against each other, they won’t hesitate to pounce on it. If you don’t agree on a punishment, allowance, curfew, chores, etc., don’t let the kids hear it. Someone is not going to get their way, but respect each other enough to back each other up. Come to an agreement in private and show the kids a united front. That way, the kids will see you and your spouse acting as one force and won‘t be able to come between it. Teach your kids to respect you, your spouse, and their siblings, especially if you both are uniting kids in the household.
Finally, mix each other’s differences with patience and understanding, stir the above ingredients together with love and you will yield a peaceful, blended family.
BMWK — What ingredients do you use for your blended family?