When my husband proposed to me, I was elated. He was finally going to put a ring on it after six months of dating. This was in 1999, so I realize this may seem odd. However, I knew in my heart that he was my husband and I told him this. I am also a mom of a beautiful six-year-old daughter, Gabrielle(Gab). She is my everything. Her father wasn’t in her life and wasn't even … [Read more...]
5 Reasons Why Some Men Abandon Their Children
I was recently asked why abandoning children is often done by men. As a man fully committed to the well-being of my family, I don't believe there's one single answer to why this happens. Still, I know for a fact that fear, if left unchecked, will send a man down a road of no return. Abandoning Children | Why Men Do It In this article: Abandonment Is a Reaction to Fear … [Read more...]
My Boyfriend is a Deadbeat Father, Should I Marry Him?
Dr. Buckingham: I hope you and your family are doing well. My boyfriend has three kids with three different women. The first two he had when he was 20 and the kids are 7 months apart. He said he did not know the other woman was pregnant until the first baby was one year old. He lived with the mother of his second child for 5 years and they broke up because she wanted him to … [Read more...]
Black Panther: Parent Leadership and Wisdom From Wakanda
By: Alexandria Barabin Harris Breaking box office records of $404 million worldwide in a single holiday weekend, Marvel’s Black Panther has already made a profound impact on film, culture, and the community of thousands who have bought tickets in advance, stood in long lines, coordinated outfits, and even returned to the theatre for a second helping of the visually stunning … [Read more...]
Help! My Son is Picking Up Bad Habits from His Father… What Should I Do?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, My 8-year-old son has recently started to act out in a very aggressive manner toward female children at school. His temper is getting worse by the day. Initially, I did not understand where he was learning the behavior. However, after talking to the school therapist, I learned that he might be picking up the behavior from my husband. My husband is a … [Read more...]
How to Keep Your Black Kids Self-Aware in a World that Reflects the Opposite
I live and work overseas most of the time, sometimes in places where the African (and specifically the African-American diaspora) is sparse. And this can pose a challenge when trying to raise the next generation of conscious black children. For example, we are currently living in a Latin American country where the “Afro” community is extremely small and confined to disparate … [Read more...]
How to Be a Mom and an Entrepreneur without Failing at Both
When I began this entrepreneurship journey several years ago, I knew one thing and one thing only: I did not want to work for anyone ever again in my life. I had been fired twice from jobs because I put my kids’ health first. The last full-time job I had was with the federal government. I quit that job when I heard God say, “Pack your things. It’s time to go.” Before and … [Read more...]
4 Ways to STOP Fighting Over the Kids and START Parenting Together
“United we stand and divided we fall”, or so the adage goes. It is true in politics and in life. And when it comes to your children and how to discipline them this saying is 100% true. We’ve all been there, you think you should discipline your child a certain way and your spouse wants to handle it differently. You each become stuck in your position, unwilling to concede, … [Read more...]
Remember, Your Kids are Learning How to Love by Watching You
I have two kids and one on the way. If there is anything they have taught me, it’s how to be more mindful of how I behave and interact with others. Kids are always watching you. Even when you think they aren’t, they are. I believe it’s their way of trying to make us better people. Now don’t get me wrong; I don’t think you should change who you are because your kids are … [Read more...]
5 Bad Habits Parents Need to Kick to the Curb in the New Year
I have two kids and one on the way. I am not a perfect mom; far from it. I make mistakes daily. Sometimes, they are tiny, so I just dust them off and keep it moving. But sometimes, those damn mistakes make it hard for me to fall asleep at night. I stay up wondering if I did the right thing… if I made the right call. But I try my best to not let it get to me too much. No one … [Read more...]
I’m 48 and Expecting…and I’m Not Quite Sure How I Feel About It
Can you believe it? I'm 48 and expecting—but not like you may think. I'm expecting a daughter-in-law (a daughter-in-love). Our family is growing. In just one more day, there will be another Mills. It's a huge deal for the excited couple. But let me tell you, it's a huge deal for me, too. I’m not quite sure how to feel. And I'm just being 100 perfect honest. I’m excited for … [Read more...]
How Informed Should You Keep Your Young Kids on Current Affairs? And Why?
The question of whether or not to inform your young children about current affairs is a very personal and sensitive question and one that I always ask myself when it comes to my own children. Initially my reaction was that I want my “kids to be kids,” meaning I wanted them to live in innocence and remain blissfully ignorant to the realities of society. I didn’t want to … [Read more...]
How God’s Sense of Humor Healed My Blended Family; Plus, 5 Tips for YOU
Many people ask, "how did you make your blended family work?" With so many couples turning to divorce in our society, I can see how this perplexes folks. My prayer is that these five tips will help you in this journey called LIFE. 1. Pray!!!! I am so serious about this. Bringing children and a spouse together is a totally different dynamic, which can make or break a new … [Read more...]
Is Wanting the Best for Your Kids Setting Them Up for Pain?
Years ago, I went to a parenting conference. During one of the sessions, I remember a speaker sharing a personal story that ended with a major lesson she learned. She admitted that she was so focused on who her daughter wasn’t that she was missing out on embracing who her daughter was. That remark has stayed with me for years. It made me realize that despite our best … [Read more...]
Why You Need To Stop Feeling Guilty About What Your Child’s Father Isn’t Doing
My mom is 73 years old. Even at that age, she still expresses guilt about certain things that happened when we were kids. It breaks my heart to hear because I don’t think anyone should hold on to guilt and pain for that long. And, of course, it is especially painful to hear because she is my mother. I have told her time and time again that she did right by us. We were always … [Read more...]