If you can’t and you seem to have one, I guess you better learn to appreciate the benefits complete honesty will bring.
Early on in my marriage I remember trying to duplicate my mother-in-law’s tuna recipe. However, I didn’t check with her first and tried to wing it; thinking how hard could making a good batch of tuna actually be. Please keep in mind, I never took great interest in cooking as I was coming up, nor when I was in college. So preparing meals was still new to me at this point. Anyway, I make this large bowl of tuna with all of the ingredients I feel typically go into a batch of tuna and looked forward to my husband digging in and enjoying it. Well, that never happened. He actually hated the tuna and actually told me so. In fact, I think his exact words were “Don’t ever make tuna again”. I can laugh now, but back then it wasn’t too funny, loving or nice. My feelings were actually really hurt. Here I am making a dish I knew he had enjoyed when his mom made it, and this was the thanks I received.
Back then it was a challenge to hear, today I am in a much better place and can appreciate a spouse who tells me the truth, even if it isn’t one I prefer to hear. My husband will tell me if and when my hair is all jacked up, whether or not I look like a swashbuckler (yes, he has actually described one of my outfits as such) and even when my new pair of boots bring to mind Michael Jackson’s Captain Eo. I can count on him to tell it like it is. I find his comparisons hilarious. While it might be funny I do take into consideration his opinion and think twice about wearing certain items.
My husband is also honest with me in my handling of more serious situations as well. He will tell me if I was too harsh with someone or if I am too easy on our children. Because I don’t have all of the right answers or know the appropriate ways to handle every situation, I love having him to challenge me. He is challenging me to be my best, to show up better. I appreciate his feedback because I know his words come from a place of love. With all that he says and shares, it is for my benefit.
Having a spouse who will love you enough to tell you the truth is priceless. My husband is more than just my spouse, he is truly my best friend. And what makes the best friendships is always being able to tell one another the truth. It feels great having someone to love, trust and hear nothing but the truth from.
BMWK, Can you appreciate a spouse who is too honest? Can a person be too honest in a marriage?