If you can’t and you seem to have one, I guess you better learn to appreciate the benefits complete honesty will bring.
Early on in my marriage I remember trying to duplicate my mother-in-law’s tuna recipe. However, I didn’t check with her first and tried to wing it; thinking how hard could making a good batch of tuna actually be. Please keep in mind, I never took great interest in cooking as I was coming up, nor when I was in college. So preparing meals was still new to me at this point. Anyway, I make this large bowl of tuna with all of the ingredients I feel typically go into a batch of tuna and looked forward to my husband digging in and enjoying it. Well, that never happened. He actually hated the tuna and actually told me so. In fact, I think his exact words were “Don’t ever make tuna again”. I can laugh now, but back then it wasn’t too funny, loving or nice. My feelings were actually really hurt. Here I am making a dish I knew he had enjoyed when his mom made it, and this was the thanks I received.
Back then it was a challenge to hear, today I am in a much better place and can appreciate a spouse who tells me the truth, even if it isn’t one I prefer to hear. My husband will tell me if and when my hair is all jacked up, whether or not I look like a swashbuckler (yes, he has actually described one of my outfits as such) and even when my new pair of boots bring to mind Michael Jackson’s Captain Eo. I can count on him to tell it like it is. I find his comparisons hilarious. While it might be funny I do take into consideration his opinion and think twice about wearing certain items.
My husband is also honest with me in my handling of more serious situations as well. He will tell me if I was too harsh with someone or if I am too easy on our children. Because I don’t have all of the right answers or know the appropriate ways to handle every situation, I love having him to challenge me. He is challenging me to be my best, to show up better. I appreciate his feedback because I know his words come from a place of love. With all that he says and shares, it is for my benefit.
Having a spouse who will love you enough to tell you the truth is priceless. My husband is more than just my spouse, he is truly my best friend. And what makes the best friendships is always being able to tell one another the truth. It feels great having someone to love, trust and hear nothing but the truth from.
BMWK, Can you appreciate a spouse who is too honest? Can a person be too honest in a marriage?
There is no such thing as “too much honesty between spouses” in a marriage! There may be a lack of tact, consideration & appropriate timing, but there’s never too much honesty.
I agree.
I don’t mind the honesty, it’s the never having anything positive to say that bothers me. There has to be balance. It can’t always be negative.
Yes, there must be more positive than negative.
It’s not what you say but how you say it. One can be honest without being a jerk about it.
Very true!
Thanks for sharing Tiya! Great post. We have to 1st be honest with ourselves before we can receive complete honesty from anyone else, including our spouse. When we try to “fool” ourselves we are taken back or hurt when others say what is real. Even when we disagree with their honest opinion, we should embrace it because we know in all situations we are getting truth.
Thanks Jackie, well said. Although it isn’t always easy
I am the overly honest one in my house. People cannot reflect, adjust and grow if they don’t know there is an area or an issue requiring them to do just that. I prefer cold, hard truth. Whether I make an immediate adjustment after hearing it or whether or not I even agree. Still good to hear.
Truth is always best!
Tiya, maybe if you tasted the Tuna before serving it, you could have spared us both (LOL).
I appreciate that you are open to receiving truth but I hope that I deliver it with love (in context, the Tuna comment was presented as joke, though I was serious).
Oh, and please don’t let those Captain Eo boots make an appearance this fall/winter.
ken you are to funny, but me and my husband learn alot just by watching you guys as a family. keep it up you two.
Just made a note that Tiya can’t bring Tuna to the BMWK pot luck dinner lol.
Now that’s funny Lamar!
You are just silly!
Thank you for this tiya. this was really great. and also let me know to keep doing what i am doing. been honest the best way i know how to my husband and everyone else i cross path with. love you girl.
Love you back!
I’m a Sagittarius so I naturally tell the truth….all the time…even when nobody ask, lol. I truely feel sorry for my husband sometimes because I have zero cut cards when it comes to speaking my truth.
Yana,
I’m a Sagittarius also but I have to really monitor my tongue cause what I really want to say would be harsh so u have to practice saying things gently. But we are a very honest group of people 🙂
Honesty is needed all the time! Truth sometimes hurt but I’d rather hear it than a lie. Ppl often look at my husband & I crazy because we’re so honest with each other. Antwoine would definitely tell me if I look jacked up or make some nasty dinner!
That’s how it should be.