During my freshman year in college, I made the mistake of chasing a man. My first serious boyfriend broke my heart when he started to shun me and even flaunt other girls in front of me. For two months, I chased him in mind and body. I was consumed with making him mine, until I realized how pitiful and desperate I had become. I was worth more than that””more than chasing after someone who was running away from me. That’s the funny thing about the chase. If you are running after someone, that means they are running away from you.
As I matured, I learned to stop chasing people and to start chasing God.
God never tells us to “go after” a spouse. In fact, in the beginning when God created man and woman, he placed Eve in the garden were Adam was already working. God put them together. Also, according to Proverbs 18:22, he who finds a wife finds a good thing. To “find” is different than to “chase.” It’s okay to date and to pray for a spouse. But to chase after. . . now that borders on looking desperate. Most men don’t desire desperate women who are always calling and texting, who hide around the street corner to watch their apartment, or who show up places unannounced. And most women don’t like desperate men who are needy and insecure, who won’t let them have a night out with the girls, or who are paranoid about their guy-friends.
From a woman’s perspective, I know it can feel nice to have a man chase you during the dating stage. He checks to see how your day was, he brings you flowers, and he takes you on special dates. This type of chasing is actually called courting. I’m not criticizing courting. What I am talking about is losing yourself in the pursuit of another. When you begin to have tunnel vision and all you can think about is where to go, how to dress, what to say, and if any eligible people will be near, that’s called chasing a spouse.
A better alternative would be to chase after God because He doesn’t flee in the opposite direction. He waits for you and longs to give you the desires of your heart. So chase Him. If it is God’s Will, you will find your spouse and so much more.
Have you ever chased a boyfriend or girlfriend? How did that turn out? What happened when you stopped chasing them?