by Bil Mooney-McCoy
“Hi Daddy.”
There are few things more precious to me than hearing my 3-year-old granddaughter greet my son that way. It’s been a long time since a little person’s voice has called me “Daddy”. And it got me thinking. A few days ago, my friend, Paul Byerly, suggested writing a letter of advice to our younger selves. Here’s what I wished someone had written to me when my kids still called me “Daddy”.
Cherish the moments; put the playback mode on slow; feel it, know it, breathe it in deeply – the days of nursery monitors, car seats, playgrounds, Sesame Street, and legos. Fully live the school lunch packing, boo-boo kissing, story reading, nightmare debriefing, “use-your-words” reminding moments. Because these days, these moments will not last. And when they’re gone, they’re gone.
And here’s the thing: you never know when that last time is. You don’t get a warning – “today is the last day your son will use a sippy cup.” Or after this week, your daughter will have now grown too old for snuggling in your lap. I don’t remember the last night I tucked any of my kids in to bed, or held their hands walking down the street, or asked the waitress for crayons at the restaurant. But it’s over.
My boys used to love to “play rough” with me. If we did that now, you’d be visiting me in the emergency room. But I don’t remember the last time – it’s just over.
Every Christmas season, I’d take a day off to take my daughter gift shopping in Harvard Square. Then, one year, we didn’t. It’s over.
Even with my granddaughter, we remember when she used to pronounce the color of snow “wipe” and the thing you change TV channels with was a “remoke” and Old McDonald’s ZIP Code was “E-I-E-I-Woh”. No more. The day of the last baby word usage is never on your Google calendar. It’s just over.
Don’t get me wrong: I don’t miss poopie diapers, public temper tantrums and those dreaded teacher conferences. I love having adult children. And my wife and I still have a role to play in their lives. Instead of Christmas shopping, I’m helping my daughter with her first 1040. That’s the way, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it.
But I do miss hearing my sons’ voices in treble clef. Or the lead weight of my sleeping child’s head on my shoulder. Or two angelic little eyes looking at me and a cherubic voice saying, “Hi Daddy.”
So, hear me. Enjoy the days, the moments, the sights, smells, sounds of parenting. Today is the last day that your child will be this young.
BMWK – please don’t forget to cherish these special moments that you are blessed to have with your kids? What special moments to do cherish the most as a parent?
Bil Mooney-McCoy is a native of Boston, married for 33 years and father of three adult children. A computer programmer, freelance musician, and ordained minister, he has been a speaker or facilitator presenting on topics including sexual addiction, marriage and relationships, music ministry, and racial reconciliation. His passions include his morning coffee, finding new guitar chords, creating killer PowerPoint presentations, and watching how fast his oldest daughter can text her friends. Click here for more information about Bil Mooney – McCoy https://www.newcitymusicboston.com/lessons/