I heard a minister make this statement, “If you keep appealing to the dog in your man, that is who will keep showing up.” Wow – I thought, those are some pretty strong words. My man is not a dog! I had to stop for a second to hear the truth hidden in that statement.
The truth hidden in this bold statement is that anyone, male or female, can have doggish behavior. I understand that people are not dogs and this phrasing was used to make a point.
Here’s the thing – if it is doggish behavior that is expected, it will be doggish behavior that you see.
What you see, you will talk about. When you talk about what you see, you are planting seeds that reproduce more of the same and the cycle keeps repeating itself. The dog continues to show up.
I looked up the word appeal, which means to plea, petition, demand, call or request.Then, I thought about the power of words. Words have the power to create, encourage, tear down or build up.
In a marriage both husband and wife have a role to play as each is responsible for their own actions. However, husbands and wives can use words to help bring out the best in one another.
If you are going to appeal to your mate’s heart, why not appeal to and draw out the good that resides within your spouse? Do it by painting pictures of love, laughter, and peace with your words. Even in the midst of challenge you can refrain from painting a negative picture.
When used in a negative way these four little phrases can call forth the dog:
You always… You never… Why don’t you… I wish you would…
Now, if you don’t like the dog that keeps showing up in your marriage, barking and growling, you can begin to change things by changing what you are appealing to in your mate. Begin to call out the good.
Here are 3 ways to stop the madness:
- Focus on the good. The bad and the ugly must be addressed, but don’t let them become your focus. Intentionally keep your focus on what is right with your mate and in your marriage.
- Speak on things you want to produce in your marriage. The stuff you hate, quit talking about it over and over. Harp on the traits you desire in your relationship and in each other.
- Forgive and begin to heal. Disappointment, hurt, and anger can cause you to say hurtful things. Forgive, so the process of healing can begin.
In your marriage, words are like seeds falling into the ground of your hearts. They are going to produce something. Look at the harvest coming forth in your marriage right now and see if the harvest matches the seeds you planted. It’s never too late to plant a new crop of seeds beginning with the words you speak today.
BMWK Family – What do you think of this statement, “If you keep appealing to the dog in your man, that is who will keep showing up”?