Marriage is a commitment that requires open and honest communication in order to work at its best. Once someone begins to keep secrets or tells lies, the union is damaged. The damage isn’t always irreparable, but it’s there and it has to be dealt with.
But what if the secret being kept is actually being kept by your spouse to protect you or avoid your judgment? What if they have no malicious intent? Or, to complicate matters further, what if your spouse doesn’t even realize they are keeping a secret from you?
Depression is a serious condition that affects more people than many of us realize. Statics show that roughly 14.8 million Americans suffer from depression. Often times, people who are suffering from depression don’t even realize they are. And for those who do realize it, many do not seek help—particularly in the Black community. Results from a 2011 CDC study shows that only 7.6 percent of Black Americans sought treatment for depression compared to 13.6 percent of the general population. Many medical professionals also say that although depression itself may not be a reason for divorce, the consequences of untreated depression are.
When someone suffers from depression, they often suffer in silence. Maybe they think they are just experiencing a bit of the blues and they are patiently waiting for the sad feeling to just “pass.” And because so people are uncertain about how depression is defined, many do not turn to their spouse for help. Men and women alike usually try to manage the pain on their own, keeping the people they love most in the dark about their feelings of sadness and hopelessness.
For those who are familiar with the symptoms of depression because they have a personal history with it, or they have seen a loved one suffer from the condition, reaching out to a spouse still may not be easy. Fear of judgment can cause people to keep their emotions bottled up. People also fear the stigma that comes with depression and they can keep their daily struggles a secret because they don’t want their spouse to think of them as weak or overly emotional.
But depression is not just a small case of the blues. It’s not something people can just “wait out” because the sadness will go away on its own. Depression is a serious mental health issue, and if left untreated, it can cause immense pain and hopelessness—and possibly even lead to suicide.
If you have noticed changes in your spouse and you aren’t sure how to make sense of what is going on, maybe you should consider the possibility that they are struggling with depression and they either don’t realize it or don’t know how to open up and share how they feel with you.
Here are 5 signs that your spouse may be suffering from depression:
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