Separation can be tough.
When you get married, the anticipation is to be together for the rest of your life. However, life’s events, such as the following can cause temporary separation and take you apart for a season:
- Military deployment
- Job re-assignments
- Work travel
- Caring for aging parents
Rather than tear you apart, the temporary separation can strengthen your bond if you:
- Chase, pursue each other and build anticipation for the moment you get back together.
- Dream and plan for your future together.
- Keep things exciting to lessen the anguish of separation.
How do you implement these three strategies into your long distance life?
Choose one or all of the following suggestions to keep the love flowing:
Talk often
Keep the talks light-hearted like when you were dating.
Schedule times to talk about family business so that every conversation is not about bills and problems. Have a set time to have a family meeting over the phone.
If it’s not your family meeting date, save the conversation about the bills and what the kids did wrong until your set date. Keep your general talks happy and filled with joy.
Find romance in your conversations. Go back to when you first fell in love.
Have a date night
Plan a date night. Put the date on your calendar. Prepare for it. Then use today’s technology for your benefit. Download facetime, skype, or whatever video chat service is available.
Act like you are going on a date because you are. Get ready – put your clothes on, be well rested, do your hair and makeup. If there is a time difference between you, the mate who can adjust their schedule do so.
Go into work late or take a nap during the day so you are ready and fresh for your date. You can have dinner together virtually, play your favorite song, and make small talk over dessert.
Write letters
Bring back the art of letter writing. Emailing and texting are good but sit down and write a note and place it in the mail. A romantic note received in the mail is sure to bring a smile.
Send little care packages
Send a little something that is not expensive but rather full of meaning. Getting a package in the mail is like a little piece of Christmas. It’s a small gesture that goes a long way in letting your loved one know that you are on their mind.
Care package ideas: Send her favorite candy, send him a little nighty with a note – “can’t wait to wear this for you when you get home”, send her a handkerchief sprayed with your cologne.
Count down the months not the weeks
Then count the weeks and not the days until you are together again. Time will seem to be going by faster.
For example: We will be apart for 31 days sounds and feels much longer than we will be apart for a month. Yes, it’s the same amount of time. This may be a psychological trick; but if it works for you use it.
Create short videos
Send them to your spouse. On those days you need a pick me up, nothing serves better than hearing and seeing your spouse.
At the very moment you need to see them they may or may not be available. However, you can hit the play button on that video at anytime.
Stay connected. Don’t isolate yourself.
Spend time with family and friends. Take photos and share them with your mate. Video chat at special events so your mate can feel a part of what’s going on in your life.
Make the best of your time apart.
Rather than use this time to vent about not being together, go back to when you first met and spend the time sharing and dreaming of your future together.
Don’t bog each other down with complaints and all the cares of the day. Build your mate up with words of encouragement. Share how much you miss being with them. Go back to the time when you could stay on the phone all night just listening to each other breathe.
BMWK Family how many of you have ever gone through this type of temporary separation and how did you handle it?