Most of us want our homes to be a place of refuge, a place of tranquil peace, rambunctious excitement, and romantic moments. We want a home, not just a house. We want a place where our mate is well taken care of and comfortable. If you're husband, you want to treat your wife like a queen. If you're a wife, you want to treat your husband like a king. How to Treat Your Husband … [Read more...]
My Marriage Has Died: What Can I Do to Resuscitate It?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, Where do I begin? I have been married for 19 years and I don't know where my marriage stands! At year 12, my husband was arrested then later sentenced to 10 years! Before his sentence, while out on bail, we both got jobs and lease to purchase a home. The marriage was strong and loving! During his sentence (he did 5 1/2 years) so much happened: I lost … [Read more...]
Top 3 Things that 18 Years of Marriage Have Taught Me
Anniversaries are super special in my house. I would never have imagined being married to my husband for eighteen years. Real talk, my parents didn't even think my husband Don and I would remain married past the first six months. They expressed this to us more times than I can count. Why would my parents think this, let alone have the nerve to verbalize this to us? Well, the … [Read more...]
How to Stay Together When Your Family and Friends Want You to Divorce
For years, my husband Don and I had an extremely rocky marriage. During those tumultuous years, I confided in a lot of girlfriends. I told them everything he did and did not do. I was painting a picture of him that had them not speaking to him or wanting to be around him. When things were at their worst, I ran my mouth. Straight up. I even convinced myself that I was going … [Read more...]
Why Fighting For My Marriage is the Best Thing I’ve Ever Done
A few years ago, Don and I were at a crossroad in our marriage and we had to decide if we were going to remain married even though we didn’t like each other. It was not easy to live with this question hanging over my head nor was it pretty. The realization that we did not like each other was painful, but we had no idea how to break from it. One day, we decided to have a … [Read more...]
5 Signs Your Marriage is Going to Be OK
Have you ever gotten to a point in your marriage where you thought you and your spouse would never overcome a certain situation? So many marriages reach a period of time where the couple may question everything about their union. Stress, disagreements and just life can easily take us to a negative space where we begin to think our marriage just isn't working. However, I … [Read more...]
Couples: 5 Things to Do When You’re Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired
Have you ever felt like, during a disagreement with your spouse, that you've been there and done that? Maybe it has started to feel like deja vu whenever you and your spouse are at odds. Arguing over the same behaviors over and over again is tiring. It will put an unnecessary strain on your marriage and honestly what couple ever wants that? There are several reasons … [Read more...]
Seven Strategies that Saved My Marriage
I’m going to be totally honest with you: sometimes, I am annoyed when folks say they want a marriage like mine and Don’s. What they don’t know is that we experienced many ups and downs in our marriage. The 'downs' seemed to last forever. We’ve experienced the difficulties of blending a family, numerous periods of unemployment, a child going to jail, alcoholism and an emotional … [Read more...]
Challenge: 30 Days of Service to Your Spouse…Can You Handle It?
Don and I decided to do a 30 Days of Service Challenge after watching the below video by Comedian Mike Goodwin. Mike decided to do something every day to serve his wife for an extended period of time - - 30 days. I thought it was going to easy to knock out. Wrong! The first few days we were enthusiastic about out-serving each other. He made me breakfast in bed on more than one … [Read more...]
Should I Get Involved In My Friend’s Messy Marriage?
Hello Dr. Buckingham, I'm writing on behalf of my friend. She has been married for 8 years and her husband impregnated another woman 2 years ago. She decided to accept the situation and forgave her husband. She recently left to go on vacation only to return to find her husband and the mother of his child in their home. He claimed that they only talk because of this child. … [Read more...]
Married Couples: If You Smile in Public and Cry Behind Closed Doors, Read This
There are too many married faces, smiling in public and crying behind closed doors. This may be you or a couple you know. For sure, it was me and my husband early-on in our marriage. We had just as many bad days as we did good days. Can you relate to any of these scenarios? You're leaving for work sad because of what is going on in your marriage.....but, you're happy you … [Read more...]
Before You Call It Quits, 10 Steps that Could Save Your Marriage from Divorce
By Benjamin and Alisha Walker One of our mantras is divorce is not an option. We wrote a blog post called 12 ways to have a loving marriage, at the top of the list is divorce is not an option. But what if it really is? What if the relationship you are in has gotten so bad, that you just can't take it? How do you handle that? Where does that conversation begin and with … [Read more...]
How to Maintain Your Marriage While Caring for Aging Parents
Most of us never think about what will happen if our parents become incapacitated or even what will happen as they age. As a kid, our parents seem strong and invincible. So why think about elder care? Listen, I certainly didn't think about it. Yet, that didn't stop it from slapping me in the face real hard. I found myself being the primary care giver to both of my … [Read more...]
4 Petty Habits Married Couples Just Need to Leave Behind in 2016
As we prepare to bid farewell to the year 2016, there are also some behaviors we need to leave behind. You know the ones...the ones that have caused us nothing but heartache and pain. The type of behaviors that have had a negative impact on our marriages. We can't welcome in the new without getting rid of the old. With a new year and a fresh start right around the corner, … [Read more...]
4 Books to Make Your Marriage Better, Tighter and Smoother
My husband Don and I have been married for 17 years, however, the first 15 were awfully tumultuous. We argued all the time and just could not get along. I now realize that I went into marriage thinking I would be a glorified girlfriend and that my husband would love me unconditionally until “death did we part.” That lasted all of three weeks. That’s it. The honeymoon and my … [Read more...]