When I listen to other couples share some of the struggles in their relationship, there are usually a few common themes:
- “He doesn’t listen”
- “She doesn’t know how to talk to me”
- “I don’t feel like a priority”
The statements that usually follow indicate that this partner is starting to feel neglected and undesired. We all know what can happen when one starts to have those types of feelings. They begin to seek comfort and understanding elsewhere – in the arms, or bed, of another.
Sometimes individuals feel as though simply asking for what they need in their marriage just isn’t enough because their partner doesn’t seem to be listening. It may seem like the only other options are to either leave or cheat.
Related: Don’t know how to get what you want out of your marriage? Here are 3 ways that might help.
While it can be extremely frustrating to be dissatisfied in your relationship, cheating and/or leaving should never be your first line of defense. Here are some things to keep in mind about your marriage and why you should remain faithful.
Divorce is not an option
Couples who have this statement as their marriage motto are typically most successful in love. Knowing there is nowhere to run and hide when your marriage feels a little funky, forces couples to stay and work on a resolution together.
If I know my only option is to make it work, guess what, I’m going to make it work. Because again, I have no other choice. This should be the thinking that every couple brings into their marriage.
Cheating is not an option
We don’t hear this one as often, but again, taking certain things off of the table makes you fight that much harder to bring healthy options into your union.
Sometimes, we have to be really proactive to make this one a reality. You may have to remove yourself from environments and people that tempt you in this way. Remember, you are in control. So count your costs and realize it isn’t at all worth it.
Related: Is it possible to affair-proof your marriage? Try these 3 action steps.
There is a ripple effect when married people cheat. Children, the other spouse, and extended family all suffer when someone succumbs to infidelity and ruins their marriage. People who cheat don’t often count the costs or think about what they stand to lose. One night of passion is never worth destroying your family.
Honesty is always the best policy, still.
Before a person decides to cheat, they should actually share the temptation with their spouse and why they find themselves at that point.
Sometimes, we don’t know how unhappy our spouse is until they have one of these difficult, heart-to-heart conversations with us. We at least owe it to our spouse to keep them informed on when things change for us in the marriage.
Infidelity doesn’t have to happen and there isn’t ever any real justification for it. Couples have to discuss their challenges, share when they are unhappy, and provide their spouse an opportunity to change, if necessary, prior to cheating.
BMWK, Are these options off the table in your marriage?