This week’s spotlight is on Gregory (Greg) and Kemlia (Kem, sounds like Kim) Sherman. This couple hails from Maryland by way of South Carolina. She’s a ten-and-a-half year veteran of the US Air Force. He served in the Army for thirteen years. They’ve been married for twenty years, together for twenty-four, and have two beautiful daughters (ages fifteen and twenty) and an adorable dog. She is currently attending Howard University’s School of Law, and loves to read in her spare time. He works in security and enjoys working. They both enjoy the time they spend with family and inspire other married couples just by the love they share with each other.
[To continue reading click the page numbers below]
How did the two of you meet?
Kem: We met in high school and we’re from a small town where everyone pretty much knows everyone else. He worked with my mom and she just thought he was the greatest. She made up a story telling him I asked when he was going to stop by and see me. When I was running track, he would also come up and help the coach with some of the runners. We ended up setting our first date and have pretty much been together ever since.
What is your recipe for a strong/loving marriage?
Kem: First of all, not everybody has a King [laughs]. I think communication is the key for us, just understanding that we are different and accepting those differences. He strongly believes in not going to bed upset with each other one another.
Greg: Also, it’s not allowing anything outside of our marriage to come between the bond that my wife and I have.
Kem: Yes, that’s very important too. We understand that we are in this marriage together. It’s not me and him and my best friend, or his mom or my mom. When we have issues, we discuss those issues amongst ourselves. We keep our concerns within our relationship between the two of us.
[To continue reading click the page numbers below]
How were you able to survive the military life?
Kem: He was in the guard for those years and I was active duty. By the grace of God, I was sent back to South Carolina after basic training and tech school. So we were only about eighty-five miles apart while we were still dating. Then when we got married, he transferred his job to where I was located. I had to go on an assignment in Turkey for four months that was supposed to be a year, and it really gave me a deeper appreciation for him. For some people, being in the military weakens their relationship. But for us, it actually strengthened it. We both understood what our commitments were. Had I not been in the military and he had been active duty, it may have been a challenge for me. It was hard to be away sometimes but it definitely made our relationship stronger.
Greg: That’s exactly it. It was about understanding the sacrifices that both of us had to make, and the unconditional love we have for each other created a bond that was unbreakable. I was blessed with that.
What is the biggest obstacle you have had to overcome in your marriage?
Kem: I think initially it was communication because I talk a lot and he didn’t talk a lot at all. I would express exactly how I was feeling, and he would keep that to himself. But now after twenty years, we’ve pretty much mastered that. It really was a challenge to overcome the difference in the communication styles.
[To continue reading click the page numbers below]
How do you think your marriage played a role in shaping your daughters into the young women they are today?
Kem: Nothing is taboo in my house because I think it’s important for our kids to be in a loving environment, and for them to see and understand true love. But most importantly as a parent, I want my kids to have self love and self worth if nothing else. If they have these two things then they won’t sacrifice anything for the benefit of that. Often times you hear the saying, ‘Do as I say, not as I do,’ but kids are influenced by what they see and not necessarily by what they hear.
Greg: As a parent, you should always strive to set a positive example for your kids all of the time, knowing that they are watching you. They’re going to mimic what you do, so you always want to make sure you set that example.
[To continue reading click the page numbers below]
Greg: As far as the marriage is concerned, you should love one another unconditionally. You should never treat anything or anyone that is outside of your marriage, better than you treat your spouse.
Kem: It’s important to understand that not every day is going to be a sunny day. You’re going to have storms and you have to be willing to pull out your umbrella to weather those storms. Regardless of what the media shows, you’re going to have challenges. You’re going to have challenges with your kids, with your mate, with whomever. You have to understand that it is only temporary. If the storm outweighs your love for each other, then it’s not going to work.
This may sound goofy but one of the things that works for me is singing a song in my head (‘I love my Husband’) because I have to remind myself that even though he did this one thing that irritated me, there are so many great things that he does every day (like waking up at 5am to cook me breakfast, or driving the car through the neighborhood at 5:30am so that I don’t have to get into a cold car). And just like he may get on my nerves, I have to remind myself that I probably get on his too.
My grandmother always said: ‘Whatever you do to get that man, you better do to keep that man’. That rings so true because often times people become complacent in their relationships and jaded to believe that he/she will continue to be happy even if they completely tune out of the relationship themselves. One of the great things about our relationship is that we make the necessary sacrifices for each other.
BMWK — Be sure to show our spotlight couple some love in the comments section, and then let us know, what you do to keep your marriage strong and healthy?