John and Tammy Wright are a dynamic fitness military couple who founded ABC Wellness and Fitness Center in Waldorf, MD in 2009. They’ve been married ten years and have two boys, ages seven and six. While Tammy (who holds a Master’s in information resource management) is “behind the scenes” and heads the overall strategic planning of the business, John (who is a certified personal trainer), manages the recruitment. The couple has been featured in several media publications including Black Enterprise magazine. They’re on the same page when it comes to a lot of things, but their stories differed slightly when it came to how they actually met and started dating.
Her story: We met in the gym at Bolling Air Force Base. We both worked out a lot, and it just so happened that I was looking for a chef for an event I was having at church. He would come and talk to me while we were in the gym, and I wondered why this guy was bothering me during my workout time. Come to find out, he was a chef and he gave me his phone number. Although we ended up not needing him for the event, we kept in contact. When I saw it was going in a positive direction, I prayed on it and we decided to move forward. Some people were trying to discourage the relationship because we’re ten years apart.
His story: This is what really happened. I was a chef at the base and I was there at the gym training. We had a mutual friend that introduced us, so that’s how she found out I was a chef. I gave her my business card, and when I didn’t hear back from her, I just checked in with her to ask if anything ever happened and if they would still be in need of my services. Everything gets a little fuzzy after that [laughs].
BMWK: How did ABC Fitness and Wellness Center come to be about?
Tammy: We are going on four years in July with ABC Fitness (almost five years since we started off mobile). I had been getting Black Enterprise for years since I was probably 17 years old. Even when I went to college, I always knew I wanted my own business, so I majored in Business Management. John is an ex-body builder. Fitness is what we both love to do, so there was no better thing than to open a fitness facility. At the time, we were in a very stressful situation because John was terminated from his job as a manager in the food service industry.
He started out part-time by going to train people at their house. Within bout 4-5 months he had a client that was a neck, back and spine doctor and we were able to rent out some of their space.
BMWK: What makes your facility unique or special compared to the other fitness facilities in the area?
Tammy: ABC stands for Anointed Body of Christ. So how can we provide that excellence of Anointed Body of Christ. So how can we have to present that if you come in here and it’s smelly, stinky, dirty, everything is in disarray, equipment has sweat all over it, etc? That’s where the colors come in as well with royalty and purity in the purple and gold. We put a lot of thought in what it is that we do and why we do it. We want to teach people to live long, healthy lives. We teach them to make lifestyle changes, not just to come in here and keep doing the same thing. We’re teaching you about portions and healthy living, and tools you’ll take with you all your life.
It’s nothing for John to call a client to check in on them to find out why they missed appointments and to make sure everything is ok. He’s gone to funerals of clients before. Whatever it is, we take a very personal interest in our clients.
John: We are family oriented and Christian based for one. We are not your traditional fitness facility. Most of them don’t know you or care to know you personally. For us, we make it very personal and give you that attention. We make sure that this facility stays clean. This 5,000 sq feet is always very clean – it smells good, always neat. When you go to the bigger facilities, they don’t necessarily guarantee that you’ll see changes [in your body/appearance]. When you come here, we’re going to make sure that you see the change. We’re going to hold your foot to the fire.
BMWK: What is your favorite part about working together?
Tammy: I actually work full-time but the good thing is that John manages the facility full-time. He’s the one that everyone equates to when they see us in the newspaper or if they see us in Black Enterprise. Theoretically, what’s good about us is we both have the same goals. We want the business to be successful because we’re building a legacy for our children and for us.
John: Another great perk is that we work as a team. If there’s something I don’t know, I can always take it to her and we’ll do a lot of sharing.
BMWK: What is one of the biggest challenges you’ve had to face in your own marriage?
Tammy: For me it was learning how to communicate. A couple of years ago we went through a rough bout where we were going through so much with transitioning with the military and transitioning jobs, unemployment, creditors calling and children you have to take care of. At one point, I told John that if I wasn’t here you can take the insurance and do whatever you have to do to take care of the boys. I truly believe that Satan will take something small and turn it into a mound.
John is in a profession where he’s around a lot of different women, and we went through a period where he wasn’t communicating like he used to. He became someone I really didn’t know. It was stressful in the household and stressful in the business. We had to learn to communicate differently. I had to learn to listen but I also had to learn to read his language. You have to look at it from a man’s point of view: God created them to be the provider so when they’re not able to provide in the way they feel they should or they want to, they take that personally.
When you get married, you’re not going to look at the same person you looked at eight years ago. At different points in your life, you’ll have to be like a piece of plastic and be able to bend and move. When you act like a still rod, that’s when a lot of the pieces begin to fall. We had to learn how to listen to each other and openly communicate and express our feelings. Know when the right time is to bring up the deeper issues in conversation. If it wasn’t for us being willing to bend and work together, I truly believe we wouldn’t be sitting here together right now. We’re talking about fresh wounds that are just healing, within the past year/year and a half. So when I say I didn’t think we would see that ten year mark, when the nine year mark hit, I was looking at him saying we weren’t going to make it. There was just so much going on.
John: I think she had to realize that there was a lot of personal training because that is what was paying our bills. I do things that other trainers don’t do, like taking calls after 8:30 at night. I take calls after their gym time, which a lot of people will leave trainers because they’re not accessible. But even at home, I’m taking calls on my business phone and not my personal phone. I don’t take any calls after 10:00 pm, but if I’m at home and I get a text then I’ll respond and just make sure that Tammy knows.
Stress does a lot of things. With me working long hours with little to no help because she couldn’t help me, it came down to communication. But I couldn’t see that. I just knew I needed to get things done, so I allowed things to fall by the wayside and I couldn’t see what was happening. One day I had some quiet time by myself and it opened my eyes because I didn’t like that feeling [of being alone].
BMWK: What is some marriage advice that you would give to your younger self?
Tammy: Communicate. If you have anything that’s on your heart, something that’s bothering you, regardless of how dumb it might seem, you need to talk about it. The problem comes when there’s a breakdown in communication.
The other thing I would say is to make sure you keep God at the forefront and make sure that He is the head of the marriage. Always listen to the Holy Spirit and take it to God. If it weren’t for that, I don’t know where we would be. We’re just getting back to basics; little things like saying I love you when we get off the phone.
The third thing is to always keep those ideas/fresh things going (little surprises – things like hot tamales or vitamin waters for me). Just because you’ve been married a long time, doesn’t mean you don’t like the little things anymore. You also have to push a little more to have that husband and wife time even when you’re exhausted.
John: Definitely put God first. Secondly, learn how to communicate. As she said, keeping things fresh and being creative, trying to strive to always make things better. What you might’ve done for the last ten years might not work anymore. Sometimes I’ll just take the boys and we’ll go to the store and pick out something like jeans or shoes and have her go get her hair done.
BMWK: How can people connect with you to find out more about ABC Wellness & Fitness?
People can connect with us through Facebook and Twitter. We can also be found at www.abcfitnesscenter.com/.
Thank you so much John & Tammy for being so open and transparent with us in sharing your story.
BMWK: Can you relate to John & Tammy? Be sure to leave some words of encouragement for them in the comments section.