Couples Spotlight: Eric & Wendy Pittman

We often talk about power couples on this site. But, we are not necessarily talking about the super rich and famous couples or celebrity couples.  You see,  to us power couples are couples that know that when they are working together and nurturing each other, they are unstoppable.

This is why we were so excited to talk to Eric and Wendy Pittman, a power couple that has been married for almost 20 years now. In addition to raising two children ( a son who’s a college student and a 9 year old daughter) the Pitman’s work together in running a very successful business,  My Bougie Baby  – a    showroom featuring trendy, must-have fashion wears for young girls ages 4.

Please check out our interview with the Pitmans as they share: how they are able to overcome the tensions that working together can have on your marriage,  how they have discovered that “being right” is not always right for your marriage, and how they have been able to reach 20 years in their marriage.

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Congratulations on having been married for almost 20 years! Looking back to when you first met, at what point did you know that he/she would be “the one?”

Wendy:  When I met Eric, it was in a room contained with screaming toddlers and over voicetress parents speaking to the throes of raising children and the difficult issues of parenting and maintaining work/life balance. You see, we met at the home of my cousin, who was celebrating with friends and family her son’s first birthday. Eric was invited as a friend of the child’s father to videotape the birthday party and his generosity on this date, December 16^th, 1989 would forever change the rest of my then, young life. So, here comes the moment when I knew he was the one for me, in the midst the noise there was calmness and stillness in the room when I caught his glance. Something behind his eyes represented truth to me and a strong sense of strength and confidence””not arrogance, but self-assurance. And this was overwhelmingly attractive. And within that moment, I knew there was a connection and a draw that I could not be without.

Eric:  All my life I have been one to never really speak on the phone. And the same applies today; I do not talk on the phone. When the phone rings at home now, I do not answer it. The moment when I knew Wendy was the one started during our first phone conversation. I had met Wendy about two weeks before at a birthday party. I did not say much to her that day, but I asked about her and she asked about me. To make a long story short, two weeks later, I got her number and called her. We talked throughout the night on the phone. I got off the phone and said; “˜WOW’ she is different. I was on board from the beginning. Wendy was beautiful, classy, smart and had the “˜it Factor’.

You’re working together to build a successful business with My Bougie Baby. How has it been to work so closely with each other?

Wendy:  My Bougie Baby has certainly come to be a new chapter in our marriage. It has added a deeper element of patience, allowing us to be more open to understanding our differences of opinion. In doing this, we don’t cross the line of being disrespectful of the others vision and direction. The subject of money also applies to this thought in doing business as a couple, too.

Eric:  We both have demanding careers, so it has been definitely a challenge. I believe the greatest challenge is defining each other’s role, along with the boundaries for each other.

Does working together in the business, ever cause tension in your marriage? How do you draw the line between business and personal?

Eric:  Working together in a business has caused some tension in our marriage. Defining roles and learning to compromise has helped a lot.  But the business is young; it’s a work in progress. Not wanting to let one another down helps tremendously.

Wendy:  It absolutely does. But we’ve learned as a couple that it’s not important to be right. People argue in business because they want to be right. From time to time, we chose to allow the other to win arguments, even if this makes you wrong, as long as it doesn’t hurt the business. Combined we have over 30 years of experience between us in business. We leverage this by allowing the other to play up their strengths which works well most of the time. We’ve learned how to draw the line between our business and personal life, too. If we work the business plan according to the budget, then Eric is happy. Conversely, I’m happy if the marketing for My Bougie Baby is executed to plan. With synergy between these two, it tends to allow us more family time because we’re not functioning off a broken plan wasting precious time. Time is the one thing you can’t buy, once it’s gone, it’s gone so we try not wasting it.

 

What advice would you give to couples that are considering starting a business together?

Eric:  Pray! Pray that God gives each other patience, strength and understanding. It will not always go as planned and it will not always meet budget expectations, but you will always need patience, strength and understanding.

Wendy:  Just as you plan and discuss the expectations of your marriage, apply that same theory to your business. With a business plan,  you understand your goals allowing you to manage expectations. There has to be a plan to follow with all your goals in mind.  Your business will grow on this same principle, just as the marriage does.

Eric, in 2005 Wendy literally saved your life by donating her Kidney to you. Looking back on that time what were the thoughts going through your head in regards to your wife, who had just made such an amazing sacrifice?

Eric: Wendy has always been with me through every major event in my adult life.     So, when the doctor told me that I would need dialysis or a transplant in three months I felt comfort with her by my side.   My only concern was how surgery would affect her and her ability to be around to raise the kids.   However, as time went on GOD assured me that everything was covered.   I am grateful to wake up next to Wendy each morning for just looking at her helps me take care of the my special gift.

Over the 20 years that you’ve been together, you must have experienced disagreements from time to time. How have you learned to handle those moments?

Wendy:  We share a strong sense of Christ in our lives, and He is the core of our marriage and existence. We workshop the disagreements with discussion and prayer.  With a strong understanding that there is no out, other than prayer, we’ve chosen not to give up on one another.

Eric:  For me it is very simple. No one is perfect, so as long as the intent to do the right thing is there, and with the willingness to respect each other you can make it through any problem. We have made a practice over the years to not to go to bed angry. And yes, there have been some all-nighters in staying true to that promise!

What advice would you give to a newlywed couple on reaching their first twenty years of marriage?

Wendy:  Here’s my Golden Rule””you don’t need to be Right.  Instead,chose to be Happy. We lose people over our desires to be Right.   There are many, many times when I know I’m right and I chose to let it go because I would rather be Happy. My final thought on this question is to never go to bed angry””it just starts the day off right!

Eric:  During our premarital counseling sessions, I remember the Pastor asking me  if I would die for Wendy. The answer was yes.  So, I have always taken the position that there is no out. As such, always do whatever you need to do to make your marriage work.