I rang in the new year with horrid sinus issues, so I took advantage of the holiday and spent most of it in bed. I decided to call it an early night and get some rest, since my husband seemed to have everything under control downstairs with the kids.
I had just turned out the light in our bedroom when my husband shooed the kids upstairs to get changed for bedtime. And where did they go? No, not their bedroom, but my bedroom of course.
I was peeved that I had to get up and assist them because my husband decided he needed to stay downstairs and watch the last two minutes of the football game.
I was all set to throw some serious sarcasm his way when I took a moment to pause. What would my bad attitude accomplish? Since I had been sick, he had effectively been with the kids all day, cleaned up by himself, washed dishes AND made a finger-lickin’ good dinner.
So now he wanted to watch football. Okay.
I got up, sniffled a bit and put the kids to bed. He came upstairs a few minutes later and joined me in the bedtime routine. I didn’t say anything to him and everything was fine.
It was a nice reminder that we can’t always expect our spouse to do everything the way we would do it and that as long as they’re trying their best, it’s good for us to simply appreciate their effort. Yes, I would have liked for him to make sure the kids didn’t disturb me while I tried to rest, but he kept them out of my hair for the majority of the day. It was nothing to get all bent out of shape about.
Cutting each other some slack is one of the best things we can do for each other. It keeps us calm, strengthens our appreciation, and encourages our spouse to cut us some slack on those days when we’re not quite on top of our game.
So how do you do this?
- Pause before you complain. Is your complaining constructive or are you just venting? Yes, you should let your partner know how you feel, but if your goal is just to make them feel bad for wronging you, then just hush.
- Remind yourself of your spouse’s good intentions and past good deeds. Chances are good that your spouse didn’t do whatever is making you angry on purpose. Remember that you two are a team and it doesn’t appear that you think very highly of your relationship if you’re accusing your spouse of treating you poorly “just because.”
- Evaluate any miscommunication. Were you clear with your expectations? Maybe not.
BMWK, are you good at cutting your spouse some slack? How could you improve?