After I had my first child, there was a severe drought in the bedroom. I thought my husband (then-boyfriend) would die. We hit the four-month mark and there was no signs of any activity whatsoever.
What the heck happened?
I’ll tell you what happened. Exhaustion, coupled with postpartum depression, coupled with wedding planning, coupled with finishing up my undergraduate degree, coupled with job searching. That’s what happened.
All of a sudden, I felt like the sexy got sucked out of me overnight. I quit wearing perfume because my daughter developed eczema and I didn’t want any fragrances to irritate her skin. I stopped wearing chunky necklaces because I was breastfeeding. And breastfeeding by itself was a beast. I struggled with mastitis, where my boobs got engorged and I came down with fever, chills and other flu-like symptoms. We underestimated how much kids actually cost and that zapped my bank account for new clothes to fit my new body. I let motherhood get in the way of my womanhood and in the process, I lost sight of my sex drive.
Don’t get me wrong””I still tried to be the best wife I could. I would cook dinner nearly every night and give my husband back rubs when he shovels the driveway. I tried to keep the house clean. I gave him support when work was a headache. I would give him nice gifts and words of appreciation. But sex? Um…
My husband was incredibly supportive and understanding as we transitioned from a couple to a family of three. I’m happy to say that things have greatly improved (they better!) but still. There is a huge difference in sex life before kids and the sex life afterward.
Did your sex life take a hit after kids or are you still humming along like nothing changed?