After I had my first child, there was a severe drought in the bedroom. I thought my husband (then-boyfriend) would die. We hit the four-month mark and there was no signs of any activity whatsoever.
What the heck happened?
I’ll tell you what happened. Exhaustion, coupled with postpartum depression, coupled with wedding planning, coupled with finishing up my undergraduate degree, coupled with job searching. That’s what happened.
All of a sudden, I felt like the sexy got sucked out of me overnight. I quit wearing perfume because my daughter developed eczema and I didn’t want any fragrances to irritate her skin. I stopped wearing chunky necklaces because I was breastfeeding. And breastfeeding by itself was a beast. I struggled with mastitis, where my boobs got engorged and I came down with fever, chills and other flu-like symptoms. We underestimated how much kids actually cost and that zapped my bank account for new clothes to fit my new body. I let motherhood get in the way of my womanhood and in the process, I lost sight of my sex drive.
Don’t get me wrong””I still tried to be the best wife I could. I would cook dinner nearly every night and give my husband back rubs when he shovels the driveway. I tried to keep the house clean. I gave him support when work was a headache. I would give him nice gifts and words of appreciation. But sex? Um…
My husband was incredibly supportive and understanding as we transitioned from a couple to a family of three. I’m happy to say that things have greatly improved (they better!) but still. There is a huge difference in sex life before kids and the sex life afterward.
Did your sex life take a hit after kids or are you still humming along like nothing changed?
Chastityl5 says
OOhhhh… I’m afraid of this whenever I get married!
mskeeinmd says
Yep. My son will be 4 next month and I still haven’t gotten the drive back. I love my husband and find him very attractive. I’m just exhausted with working, cooking, cleaning and trying to be a good mother, wife, friend, sister and daughter. I never knew how tired and exhausted I would be. He’s my best friend and is supportive. I’m trying, but I’m a work in progress.
Colonel Neville says
What a wonderfully useful site. Heard via Lamont on blogtalkradio. Er, sex after kids? You’ll have to jog my memory somewhat…A lot. Oh yes, that old thing. It’s ironic that sex makes children and then they well, kinda destroy it, no? They don’t mean to, the little angels…
“Darling, I love you and er, what’s that stuck on your top? Yow, what IS that? How did he get in here? Look out! He’s gonna..No! Don’t touch the..! You’ll wake up your sister! Oh, she’s awake…Great, just great. What’s that smell? Oh, my Lord, not again..No, I’ll get up…Where the hell are my slippers? God! My foot! Woh ooooh..Aaargh!”
No, really. Colonel Neville.
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