I’m curious as to how many of you had an immediate negative reaction upon reading this title. Wives, did you initially think it was directed at you? If so, it’s a pretty common retort. Over the years married women have struggled with the idea of serving their husband. In fact, I too found it challenging early in my marriage.
As I began getting to know my in-laws I observed with amazement the women of the family literally serving the men. It was often during holiday gatherings when the husbands would sit enjoying a sporting event or just conversation while the women prepared and served the meals and cleaned the kitchen afterward. This was all quite new in my world. I battled internally with how much this didn’t make sense to me, while my in-laws appeared totally comfortable.
In my mind, serving meant it was all about my spouse and not at all about me. Almost like I was a servant and he was to be treated as my master. I was wrong. I also learned that the family I married into held traditional values. Not only literally serving a spouse, but supporting in other capacities was just as important. The husbands also served the wives. Not in the same way but by protecting, supporting and ensuring her needs were met first. It absolutely must go both ways. The greatest gift that comes from serving is being willing to put the needs of your spouse before your own. Just because I serve my spouse will not mean my needs won’t be met. In fact it’s just the opposite. If I am taking great care of him, quite naturally my spouse would take great care of me. There are blessings that come from the both of us making unselfish sacrifices for the other. Realizing we first have to give to get makes a huge impact on a relationship.
Serving and being of service to a spouse is healthy for every marriage. First, we must remove the negative connation that comes along with the idea of serving. It certainly doesn’t mean one partner is less than the other. Just think how powerful a marriage can be if both husband and wife fully embraced that idea. Second, we must know that there is more than one way to serve your spouse. We can serve with love, appreciation and gratitude.
It’s easy to support and give of ourselves to a spouse who we love and who regularly demonstrates their love for us. It is also a great way to show appreciation for a partner who is well deserving. Marriage should be considered a gift, what better way to honor your gift than by showing how grateful you are for it.
Having your spouse’s back, sticking with them through thick and thin, putting their needs before you own, and making sure they are satisfied are all excellent ways to serve in your marriage.
Have you had to struggle with the idea of “serving” your spouse? If so, how did you resolve that struggle? How do you make sure your spouse knows you are there to serve them?