I’m curious as to how many of you had an immediate negative reaction upon reading this title. Wives, did you initially think it was directed at you? If so, it’s a pretty common retort. Over the years married women have struggled with the idea of serving their husband. In fact, I too found it challenging early in my marriage.
As I began getting to know my in-laws I observed with amazement the women of the family literally serving the men. It was often during holiday gatherings when the husbands would sit enjoying a sporting event or just conversation while the women prepared and served the meals and cleaned the kitchen afterward. This was all quite new in my world. I battled internally with how much this didn’t make sense to me, while my in-laws appeared totally comfortable.
In my mind, serving meant it was all about my spouse and not at all about me. Almost like I was a servant and he was to be treated as my master. I was wrong. I also learned that the family I married into held traditional values. Not only literally serving a spouse, but supporting in other capacities was just as important. The husbands also served the wives. Not in the same way but by protecting, supporting and ensuring her needs were met first. It absolutely must go both ways. The greatest gift that comes from serving is being willing to put the needs of your spouse before your own. Just because I serve my spouse will not mean my needs won’t be met. In fact it’s just the opposite. If I am taking great care of him, quite naturally my spouse would take great care of me. There are blessings that come from the both of us making unselfish sacrifices for the other. Realizing we first have to give to get makes a huge impact on a relationship.
Serving and being of service to a spouse is healthy for every marriage. First, we must remove the negative connation that comes along with the idea of serving. It certainly doesn’t mean one partner is less than the other. Just think how powerful a marriage can be if both husband and wife fully embraced that idea. Second, we must know that there is more than one way to serve your spouse. We can serve with love, appreciation and gratitude.
It’s easy to support and give of ourselves to a spouse who we love and who regularly demonstrates their love for us. It is also a great way to show appreciation for a partner who is well deserving. Marriage should be considered a gift, what better way to honor your gift than by showing how grateful you are for it.
Having your spouse’s back, sticking with them through thick and thin, putting their needs before you own, and making sure they are satisfied are all excellent ways to serve in your marriage.
Have you had to struggle with the idea of “serving” your spouse? If so, how did you resolve that struggle? How do you make sure your spouse knows you are there to serve them?
Jayeb1 says
My, My, My, every subject you speak about just hits the nail on the head. This is a great article, and when there is give and take in a marriage on both sides, it really strenghtens the relationship. KUDOS Tiya, I really enjoyed reading this post as well as all your others, keep it up, it’s just inspiration for those of us who really embrace our marriage and will incorporate any and all sane advice….THANKS
Tiya says
Thank you Jaye. I appreciate your reading them and your great comments!
Jonte Drayton says
Love this article. I am enaged to be married Nov 5,2011 and I have served/carter to my babylove since the begining of our relationship and he to me . It came natural to want to make sure that his needs or wants were met because he did the same for me. I had a girlfriend once say to me ” its no wonder you’re getting married, you wait on him hand and foot” as first I took offence to this statement but then I thought about it. Why not he is my king and he treats me like his queen. What we do for each other is looked at like work, we are a team and we work together. Told her “you might want to try it” lol .
I am new to your blog but love the advice and uplifting comments left by your guest.
Soon2bgriggs
Smooches xoxoxxox
Tiya says
Thank you Jonte! Abosulutely love your comment. That is exactly as it should be.
Briana Myricks says
I think we serve each other equally. I do whatever I can to make sure hubby is comfortable and has everything he needs and he does the same. Sometimes I’ll ask if he can get something for me and sometimes he’ll ask if I can do something for him. We don’t mind serving each other.
Tiya Sumter says
Briana, love it! Thanks for sharing
Troshaunda says
I do make it a point to fix my huband plate and put it infront of him. I feel like in our society we as women feel like we are to good to do that. It not about being some mans slave or anything like that. Its about doing something nice for your spose on a daily basis. Why if he goes to work all day and provides for the family and is a wonderful father shouldn’t he be able to sit down at the table or in front of the TV with you in hand with his dinner. We as women need to stop thinking of this as being a negative thing. It a way of showing you appreciate what he does on a regular basis.
Tiya Sumter says
Troshaunda, this is where I used to struggle, I thank God I am in a much better place now. I see the value in serving one another. Why wouldn’t I want to make sure my husband is taken care of. Thank you.
KendrickandLavetta Spann says
I love serving my husband his dinner, it doesn’t matter if we are at home, or visiting family and friends, I make sure he gets what he needs and he doesn’t mind doing the same for me. If you love your spouse, there’s nothing that you wouldn’t do to show that love.
Anonymous says
LOVE THIS ARTICLE .MY HUSBAND AND I ARE SO INTO SERVING EACH OTHER .I THANK GOD FOR MY HUSBAND BECAUSE IT MAKES HIM FEEL GOOD TO BE ABLE TO SERVE ME AS WELL AS ME SERVING HIM. WE ARE GRATEFUL BECAUSE OF GOD’S LOVE THAT IS INSIDE OF US WE CAN SHARE WITH EACH OTHER.BELIEVING IN OUR SELVES ENOUGH TO WANT TO HELP BUILD UP THE OTHER.FOR THE GLORY OF GOD