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End of The Road: 3 Steps to Letting Go

Photo Credit: Mr. Littlehand via Flickr

PAY ATTENTION because it’s 2013 and class is now in session. So many people are in a very miserable place in life because they won’t let go of the thing or person that made them miserable in the first place. Although I could dress this up and put in a lot of colorful words and similes and metaphors, this time I want to get straight to the point! These are 3 things I want you to do in 2013 so that you can begin to let go!

1) STOP COMMUNICATING WITH HIM/HER: Look folks, the half way breaking up thing does not work! If you are going to claim to be breaking up with someone then you need to seriously break up with that person. This starts with stopping the communication. That means all of the texting, talking, emailing, twittering, facebooking, telegramming, and smoke signaling has to cease. If you have kids together then I know you must communicate, but it should ONLY be about the kids. “Well why can’t we be friends???” You just can’t! I just need you to trust me on this one. You continuing to communicate will slow down your healing and “getting over it” process so just DON’T DO IT! Oh and by the way, this includes NO MORE SEX! This whole “we broke up, but we are still going to be friends with benefits” thing must stop. Sometimes you must close your legs so that you can begin to close your heart.

2) LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCE: If there’s someone I can’t have any empathy for it’s a person who continues to make the same mistake over and over and over again. I know that maybe you and your ex had some great times, but I’m almost willing to bet that the bad times are the reason he or she is your ex now. Stop trying to bury the bad things and keep alive the good things just so that you can justify playing the double-dutch back and forth game with him or her. We can all learn different things from every experience and relationship, even the bad ones. Accept the fact that it’s over and embrace the lessons you learned from the situation. If you took an L (loss) then take that L and better prepare yourself for a W (win) later!

3) WAVE THE WHITE FLAG: What I mean is this…stop trying to “win” the situation. SO WHAT that he has a new woman or that she has a new man, and SO WHAT they “don’t have nothing on you!” The bottom line is that you are still not allowing yourself to let go of the situation all because you are still fighting for the person that is your EX for a reason! Ask yourself this…even if you win what is the prize that you are getting? You don’t have to try and win the situation all to prove a point to yourself because at the end of the day, your ex is the one who is winning because he or she probably has both a new person AND you. So in this case, even if you think you are winning you are still losing. Besides…your ultimate win and revenge will be when you let go and move on completely. We all know that the hardest thing to accept is when we figure out that our ex really doesn’t care anymore and has moved on! When your ex sees you do that that’s when you will really be WINNING!!

I can already hear it…I’m listening to the thoughts of the people reading this blog who aren’t truly ready to let go and the first thing they are saying is “well that’s easier said than done!” My response is “well isn’t everything?” Just because something isn’t easy doesn’t mean that it doesn’t need to be done! Many of you must let go of what’s wrong now so that you can hold on to what’s right later! There are a million other tips I could give to help people let go, but I believe that these three are a great starting point.  If you aren’t ready to receive these three points then odds are you aren’t truly serious about letting go. Remember this: Time doesn’t change things, people do! Do yourself a favor and begin letting go today!

BMWK — When it comes to your past relationships, how have you been able to let go?

Troy Spry resides in Charlotte, NC.   He created his blog, Xklusive Thoughts, with the intent of putting out a very realistic perspective and using it as a vehicle for inspiration!    He hopes to challenge people to think differently and inspire people to do and be better in relationships and in life!  You can reach Troy via his website, twitter, or Facebook.

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