One of the biggest letdowns after getting married is realizing that everybody isn’t happy that you are happily married. The bachelor and bachelorette parties, the showers, the beautiful wedding, and the laughter-filled reception make the fantasy of getting married come alive. All seems well after the honeymoon ““that is until people start getting in your business and causing problems in your marriage.
Everybody isn’t happy for you and your spouse. It’s sad but true.
I believe this should be a part of pre-marital counseling, helping new couples deal with the frustration and anger that arise when so-called friends, former boy/girlfriends, and even family members create unnecessary drama in your life. What do you do when people aren’t happy for you? How do you handle it and keep the romance going at the homefront?
I like to approach the issue head-on. It doesn’t help your marriage to act like there isn’t a problem. Some couples go years avoiding issues only to have the negativity spill over into their relationship, possibly even the bedroom. The sooner you address the issue, the better. After all, this is your marriage, and marriage is sacred and serious. In a loving yet firm manner, I’ve had to set boundaries and speak the truth about the situation to people. I made it clear that no weapon formed against my marriage will prosper, which includes them. Now, your situation might be different, but I’ve found when you speak truth to the negativity and expose the evil trying to harm your marriage, the person causing the dissension loses his/her power.
Finally, it’s important to remember that you aren’t married to everybody, so everybody’s opinion about your marriage doesn’t matter. God joins two people so they can become one. As long as you and your spouse are happy, that’s all that matters. After you make it clear that your marriage will not be affected by their drama, the troublemakers either will fall in line and respect your relationship or they will go on living their miserable life and looking desperate for attention. Either way, your marriage continues to grow and your love remains strong.
I love what Philippians 4:8 says: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” This is where your focus should be in marriage, not on what everybody else thinks and feels about you. Keep loving and living happily ever after. Maybe, just maybe, your marriage will encourage other people to do the same.
BMWK family, how do you deal with people who aren’t happy about your relationship?