One of the biggest letdowns after getting married is realizing that everybody isn’t happy that you are happily married. The bachelor and bachelorette parties, the showers, the beautiful wedding, and the laughter-filled reception make the fantasy of getting married come alive. All seems well after the honeymoon ““that is until people start getting in your business and causing problems in your marriage.
Everybody isn’t happy for you and your spouse. It’s sad but true.
I believe this should be a part of pre-marital counseling, helping new couples deal with the frustration and anger that arise when so-called friends, former boy/girlfriends, and even family members create unnecessary drama in your life. What do you do when people aren’t happy for you? How do you handle it and keep the romance going at the homefront?
I like to approach the issue head-on. It doesn’t help your marriage to act like there isn’t a problem. Some couples go years avoiding issues only to have the negativity spill over into their relationship, possibly even the bedroom. The sooner you address the issue, the better. After all, this is your marriage, and marriage is sacred and serious. In a loving yet firm manner, I’ve had to set boundaries and speak the truth about the situation to people. I made it clear that no weapon formed against my marriage will prosper, which includes them. Now, your situation might be different, but I’ve found when you speak truth to the negativity and expose the evil trying to harm your marriage, the person causing the dissension loses his/her power.
Finally, it’s important to remember that you aren’t married to everybody, so everybody’s opinion about your marriage doesn’t matter. God joins two people so they can become one. As long as you and your spouse are happy, that’s all that matters. After you make it clear that your marriage will not be affected by their drama, the troublemakers either will fall in line and respect your relationship or they will go on living their miserable life and looking desperate for attention. Either way, your marriage continues to grow and your love remains strong.
I love what Philippians 4:8 says: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” This is where your focus should be in marriage, not on what everybody else thinks and feels about you. Keep loving and living happily ever after. Maybe, just maybe, your marriage will encourage other people to do the same.
BMWK family, how do you deal with people who aren’t happy about your relationship?
I mean really who cares what anyone else thinks! My husband and I call the shots and if your not in our household, we don’t care! That includes parents too.
This issue is very challenge for a lot of people. I appreciate this post. It’s an excellent reminder of just what’s important. And outsiders are not what’s important in your marriage, love, and the committment that the two of you made to one another.
So very true – that no weapon formed against me shall prosper! It becomes challenging when it’s a parent or a very close loved one that’s spitting negativity into your marriage. And they’re waiting and expecting for the marriage to fail. I’ve come to realize the person needs to be prayed for, you need to combat that negativity with truth, life, hope, and God’s promises.
I also recognized how draining negativity can be. Since getting married I find it wise and a little more necessary to meditate and pray more often. The enemy is consistently busy working on your union. But as the power words in ths post states – No weapon formed against me shall prosper!! God has the final say. So, join forces with Him and enjoy your marriage! 🙂
Just the publishing of this article is breaking down strongholds in some marriages. I praise God for the people who didn’t know that this issue existed. I pray that they will read this article and even the ones that don’t know that this website exists would stumble upon it by (what we call coincidence) God’s plan.
God bless you, Dr. Michelle Johnson, for having the courage to write this article!
This is so true. I have been marriedjust shy of a year and yes “the guns of hell are aimed at my marraige.” It is tough, but I am determined (I know) and I believe that he is determined to work through every issue and circumstance. Because we are determined, we give God something to work with. No weapon that is formed against our marraige shall prosper.
This article hits close to home for me too. My own family were the ones causing much drama during the post engagement process…so much so that less than 30 days before my wedding they decided to bail out and not attend. It hurt so much to know your family can’t support your decision, but as much as it hurt I already forgive them. They will have to be the ones to live with their decision to miss out on their daugthers wedding. My happiness and making our love union official before God and by law meant more to us than appeasing people with their own agenda. We put God first, our love next and everything else last. You can’t go wrong by honoring God first.
I agree wholly with this. I am getting married this year and my family (with the exception of my mother and 1 sister) are opposing it. It hurts me but he and i love and trust God and know that our marriage will please him.
I have been going thru this very situation off & on for over 15 yrs. Misery loves company! It will not be my marriage that keeps it company. No weapon!
The problem is some women dont respect their husbands, Lies and secrets are a # one killer that loses the trust in the marriage. My next wife will be a trustworthy, reliable and honest person.