“You treat me like your secretary!” That’s what my wife said to me and I blew it off the first few times. She recently said it again but this time I stopped and really thought about it. The fact is that anything that involves logistics like making sure bills get paid, planning activities, and things making sure affairs are in order, I was pushing them off on her. Then, I realized that anything that involved too much cleaning or cooking, I started expecting her to handle that as well. Suddenly I realized that all of the things my mother used to do for me, I started expecting my wife and to do. GUT CHECK and Reality check. Men, please realize that YOUR WIFE IS NOT YOUR MOTHER!
As men, when we are young our mothers are everything to us. Mom always makes sure everything you need is taken care of. I remember like it was yesterday….anytime I couldn’t find anything the first words were “Ma have you seen my….” You can guarantee that 9 out of 10 times she always knew the answer and my problem was solved! Well, even though 9 times out of 10 your wife is more in tune with the logistics and details, you still have to take time and step back from your desk and become engaged with what’s going on in the household as well.
I know we all remember those last minute science projects and papers that needed to be done that we used to forget about, but mom always came in to save the day! She had the poster board, markers, and everything else ready for you and she would stay up to the wee hours of the morning to make sure it was done. Mom saved the day again! Well, the “mom” that is also your wife might have her own responsibilities and obligations and she can’t drop them all to always come save your day. It’s up to you as her Husband to be ready to put on your own cape!
I don’t know about you, but when I was growing up, I never had to wonder about what I was going to eat or if the house would be clean. Mom was superwoman and I don’t know how she did it, but she did it and made it all look effortless. Well just because your mother did it effortlessly, you can’t discount the fact that it takes so much from your wife to make sure you and your household are taken care of and that means sometimes she needs some relief. Give it to her…tell her to tag you in and you go make it happen!
Men, I get the fact that we love our women because of the nurturing spirit that they have. Their ability to run our households is second to none and most times they are just better at it then we are. The fact that they are better at it though doesn’t mean that we don’t have to stay engaged and pick up the slack as well. It’s easy to start seeing your WIFE as your MOTHER and sometimes we just need a reality check to remind us that we are partners and in this thing together!
BMWK Fam what are some memories of your mother that you sometimes find yourself pushing on to your mate?