by Harriet Hairston
Lately, I’ve been having difficulty moving on from a particularly painful situation. I thought I was over it, but little inklings of what happened keep entering my mind, and if I don’t fight them off immediately, they grow like a cancer and attempt to wreak havoc on my thoughts and emotions. I have too many good things going on in my life to be focused on all this negativity. It’s like this vicious emotional Post Traumatic Stress Disorder attacks my mind, and if I hear a certain noise or in my case, learn of a particular injustice inflicted upon another person, it sets off a violent chain reaction in my emotions that I need to come to terms with. In other words, I need to get over it and move on! Truthfully, I’m already over it, but negativity arises that tries to suck me back into the vortex of foolishness. Here are some mental exercises I do to ensure PTSD doesn’t overtake my emotions:
- When I’m tempted to get angry or frustrated about another person’s irritating or damaging personality, I remind myself that I have my own issues that get on plenty of people’s nerves. The same grace I want others to extend to me I should be willing to extend to them.
- I make myself very cognizant of the direction a conversation is going in. If the conversation begins to take on the characteristics of bashing or gossip, I either separate myself or bring the discussion back to its positive focus.
- If someone else has the same issues I have with a particular person, I do my best to point out their positive attributes and state that the person, just like me, is not a finished product yet. *I’m still working on this one…it’s amazing how potent a common enemy is.*
- I’m very careful about who I talk to regarding the hurt another person inflicted upon me. I don’t want my words to be misconstrued or twisted.
- Above all, I pray for the person who hurt me. I think I’m a pretty straight forward person, and I do my best to treat others like I want to be treated. When another takes advantage of that or abuses it, it’s not my job to retaliate. It’s my job to pray for mercy, because I’m God’s child…and He’s not about to stand for His daughter suffering abuse!
These things have helped my family and I STAY out of the mess we came out of, and emotionally, I pray others will get beyond their personal hurts and heartbreaks to overcome and move forward.
BMWK, is there anything you can add to this list?
God bless!
~ Harriet
Harriet Hairston is a woman who slips and slides in and out of labels (military officer, human resource manager, minister, mentor, spoken word artist and teacher). The only ones that have stuck so far are “wife” and “mother” (the most important in her estimation). The rest have taught her well that only what she does for Christ will last. She joyously writes for the site Black and Married with Kids and her own blog entitled “Can She SAY That?!?” There is one more permanent label she holds: “author.” You can purchase her first book, “Who Are You?” simply by clicking on the link or going to https://www.createspace.com/3430012. You can also contact her at harriet_hairston@yahoo.com.