A couple weeks back while on my way to a gala fundraiser I received a text from my wife. She apologized for not being able to attend with me. It wasn’t her fault. We were double-booked that night. I was a little disappointed because it would’ve been an opportunity for us to rub elbows as grown folks do””something we haven’t really been able to do much since moving to our new city where we don’t have the extensive network of grandparents, aunts, cousins and family friends we once had. Her text was a heartwarming surprise because it let me know she isn’t so caught up with our daily grind to overlook what’s also important: quality time spent together.
While stopped at a red light I responded:
“No worries. Next time…”
As soon as I sent the text I felt funny. It was as if I had said something wrong, the way someone does when they make a promise they can’t keep. Interestingly two weeks have already passed and there has yet to be a next time nor am I sure when the next time will come around for us to hob nob, spend time together, be grown ups without the kids for a couple hours. Looking at my calendar I see a date in December but with Christmas looming large that month, who knows what will happen.
I haven’t lost any sleep over this missed opportunity because it was unavoidable. But it got me thinking quite a bit about that file folder called “Tomorrow.” How often do we file away activities and opportunities to Tomorrow when we don’t think we can do it today or simply decide we don’t want to? But who among us has a real handle on Tomorrow and what it will bring, if it even comes at all? I’m not preaching end of the world talk here. But tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us.
Putting things off to tomorrow what can be done today shouldn’t be confused with planning ahead. If something is happening on a future date and you know you or your best friend, otherwise known as your spouse, will enjoy it, by all means make it happen. Your relationship will only benefit from that future concert, vacation, dinner date, etc. But if you see something that you think your best friend might appreciate, you are able to make it happen, yet you tell yourself, “Ahh, I’ll pick it up/do it later,” or “Oh, we can do that the next time it comes to town,” then I am here to tell you you are making a promise to yourself which there is no guarantee you can or will keep. Think of it this way, those of us who pass on gambling do so because we don’t want to bet on unknown odds. Yet day in and day out we casually bet on an not-promised tomorrow.
Life is comprised entirely of the present. Right now is the present where we actually exist. A second ago and beyond is now and forever the past. The present that has yet to happen, the future, is filled with many variables of uncertainty. The present is the time you have to live your life to the fullest — at home, at work and in your communities. The present that you have with your best friend is irreplaceable and invaluable. Don’t let it slip away counting on the arrival of “tomorrow” or “later” if nothing, except you, is stopping you from doing so right now.
Do you seize the day with your spouse or do you find yourself putting things off waiting for a “right time” that often never arrives?