It is the question that many single women ask, either mentally or while screaming into their pillows, after they witness yet another friend becoming engaged and they’re still just trying to get a good look from a good man.
God, why am I still single?
In Christian circles, it’s not uncommon to hear someone say, “maybe God has given you the call to celibacy.”
Well, before you run off and decide to become like Mother Theresa, I want to correct that statement and hopefully shed some new light on your options. But first, let’s jump into God’s word.
“Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” (1 Corinthians 7:6-8 ESV)
“I say this as a concession, not as a command. But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. But God gives to some the gift of marriage, and to others the gift of singleness.” (1 Corinthians 7:6-8 NLT)
Now, I provided both translations because this is one passage of scripture that can be misunderstood very easily.
In the New Testament, the word gift in the Greek simply means charisma or grace.
When you view a gift in practical terms, you recognize it as something given to you and thus may be utilized as an opportunity to grow and express gratitude.
Paul passionately writes that in your life as a single, you have an opportunity to serve God’s kingdom.
You must view it as such or you will continue to go down the path of idolizing marriage, thinking it is the answer to all of your problems.
I was able, during my season of being single, to accomplish and attain many things, including:
- My degree
- Moving to a new city
- Becoming an ordained pastor
- Going on various mission trips
Those experiences and accomplishments all now serve to strengthen my marriage.
I thank God that for showing me that my unmarried season was an opportunity to prepare, grow, and establish myself for marriage.
Our online community, Married and Young, was birthed out of the desire to see the marriage rate increase among bible believing Christians, so please know I am a huge advocate for people getting married.
It is through Godly marriages that godly offspring come forth, communities are impacted, and worldviews are shifted.
My prayer as you prepare for marriage is that God will deepen your understanding of why Christ must be your center during your season of preparation.
Many today are attempting to work the invention without reading the “How to” Manual from the Inventor.
God is the inventor of marriage, so it would be a great idea to understand it from His perspective.
After about six months of being married, I realized something that I pray every unmarried person gets.
Every second I spent before I said I do was preparation for marriage.
All the things I accomplished, and all the things I failed to do all contribute to my marriage. Before I married my wife, I was a huge proponent for preparing for marriage. Now that I am married, I cannot stress how important it is to prepare for the covenant that changes everything.
Desiring marriage is a great and noble thing, but do not allow your desire for marriage to overtake God’s purpose for your life right now.
Continue to serve Him with all of your heart and set your eyes upon pleasing to Him in every way.
His timing is perfect!
BMWK, What did you do or what are you doing to prepare for marriage?