As husbands, we might have a slight disconnect between making our women feel secure and making her feel secure in our marriages. Sometimes we believe that to have a happy wife, we must be willing to defend her from a guy that disrespects her or simply shield her from harm. While jumping in front of cars, rescuing her from a burning building, or getting up at night to see “what that noise was” does make her feel protected, there are still some things we can do to make her feel secure in the relationship or marriage.
Happy Wife: 10 Ways to Make Your Woman Feel Secure in Your Relationship
In this article:
- Make love to her like it matters
- Don’t gawk at other women when you are together
- Invest in the family and the children
- Don’t make her compete
- Show and tell her
- Make sure to be faithful
- Be dependable and consistent
- Be assertive and clear
- Praise her in public instead of criticizing her
- Be thoughtful
The number of “Amens!” and “PREACH!” comments I received from women when I posted this comment let me know that there must be some serious truth to this statement.
“Make her feel secure in your relationship and she will move mountains for you!”
As I began to think, I realized that security is like the master key to unlocking a happy wife. While her happiness doesn’t depend on her husband, security goes a long way to making her happiness last. So, I thought of a few ways husbands can make their wives feel secure in their relationship. Let’s talk about them.
Make love to her like it matters
One of the safest feelings a woman gets is when you are making passionate love to her. The key term there is PASSIONATE. She needs to know that it matters to you, not that you are just going through the motions. Passion creates a feeling of security…just watch how safe she feels when you hold her in your arms when you are done.
Don’t gawk at other women when you are together
Okay I’m a guy… so I understand that we are visual creatures. But we all know there is a difference between looking at a woman and gawking at a woman. Part of making your woman feel secure comes out of how you respect her in public and gawking at other women is an easy way to not only hurt her feelings, but it won’t make her feel secure in your relationship. If you react like a teenage boy to an attractive woman when you are with her, she can only imagine what you do when she isn’t around.
Invest in the family and the children
Your family and children are of the utmost importance to your wife, thus the more vested you are in them…the more secure she will feel about your relationship. Watching you invest not just your money, but your time and energy into the family and children will make your wife smile with her heart. It will also speak to the strength of your relationship because of the team effort.
Don’t make her compete
When you asked her to be your woman, she obliged under the assumption that she wouldn’t be in competition for you with other women anymore. Now let me preface this by saying we should all continue to do the same things we did in order to get our mates. So, “falling off” is not acceptable. But she doesn’t want to feel the pressure from you. Always flirting with other women, not knowing what kind of boundaries to establish, and not protecting your relationship from the advances of other women won’t make her feel secure IN the relationship. It will make her feel like you always have one foot out the door, thus making it harder for her to go ALL IN!
Show and tell her
Just like men want to feel appreciated, women do as well. Letting her know that you appreciate her work, her nurturing, her “domestic goddess” skills, and her mothering makes her feel secure in that she knows it’s not being taken for granted. I know as men we sometimes just want to SHOW, but sometimes she needs to hear you SAY it.
Be faithful
Being unfaithful tears down so many of the protective walls of your relationship, but being faithful builds them up and fortifies them. Not allowing other people to enter into your relationship or union and not investing your physical and emotional energy into another lets her know that she can be completely vulnerable to you with her heart, feelings and sexual well being.
Be dependable and consistent
Be a man of your word. Show up when you say you are and do what you say you are going to do. It’s as simple as that.
Be assertive and clear
Take the initiative and make decisions. Women don’t typically like or respect very indecisive men. Sometimes you need to put a little bass in your voice and make a final decision. Your woman looks to you for leadership and guidance. And when you can provide that, she knows she can feel secure within the relationship with you…her MAN!
Praise her in public instead of criticizing her
Praising your woman in public lets her know that you appreciate her and aren’t afraid to profess it to the world. This puts other people on notice that you are your mate’s biggest fan and it will put a little extra pep in her step. On the flip side, criticizing her in front of others embarrasses her, making it nearly impossible for her to be the happy wife you desire. Your harsh words will cut her down in a way that will make her feel she can’t trust you with her flaws. And, no woman ever wants to feel that way about her man.
Be Thoughtful
Being thoughtful and considerate lets her know you care. This means that when holidays come around put some effort into making it special for her. Listen to her and do things “just because” so that she knows you are engaged and listening. Watch the security points add up!
As men we must remember that making our woman feel secure in our relationship spans far beyond putting a ring on it. It takes a consistent effort, but the reward is so worth it! Remember: “Make her feel secure in your relationship and she will move mountains for you!”
BMWK Fam: What other ways can we make our mates feel secure in our relationships?
Up Next: Why Making Your Wife Compete With Your Mother is a Bad Idea
Editor’s Note – This post was originally published on February 11, 2014, and has been updated for quality and relevancy.