Disturbing. Disgusting. Inappropriate. Flat out wrong!
Those are just some of the remarks flying around after 80’s rapper Too Short appeared in a video on XXL.com, instructing what he called late middle school to high school aged boys on how to “finger,” manipulate and physically coerce (a.k.a. rape) young girls sexually. Check out more on Too Short’s comments
The detailed, sexually explicit and instructive words of the 45 year old rapper are not worth repeating, and thankfully the video has been removed from the XXL site. In addition, and for what it is worth, after the fact, both Too Short and XXL have offered apologies. To me saying, “I would never advise a child or young man to do these things,” after advising children to do these things, falls short.
The irresponsibility of teaching young boys how to exploit, sexually manipulate and take advantage of young girls deserves the full attention and ire of every concerned parent. As a parent it makes you angry enough to jump into a full rebuke and harsh words for the 45-year-old, rapper who has no kids of his own. However, I think the opportunity is greater than that!
See, where there is one vocally irresponsible, uninformed person, there are a host of other, quiet, less visible ones attacking the ears, eyes and interests of our young people. And the truth of the matter is, I can not write with enough anger or wish with enough might that self-centered, money hungry, irresponsible adults would stop attacking the minds of our young people! By the time I write this post, our kids, your kids, will be exposed to hundreds of other damaging images and words aimed directly at them. From a satanic Nikki Minaj performance on the Grammy’s to Too Short’s detailed sex talk, to an internet post of a mob of teens savagely attacking another teen, the minds of our kids are under attack.
Am I mad at what has been said? Absolutely! But here is the thing. Too Short fashions himself as a pimp or a “player,” and he is saying what self-proclaimed “players” say. Conversely, I am a father. My job is to teach, train and instruct the children that God has given me and that are under my care. The real question in light of such disgusting advice from Too Short is what advice will we give and more importantly model in front of our children so that they have strength and wisdom to become strong men and women, not followers of the foolish.
Here are ten things we say and model for our children:
1. A man is one that respects a woman’s body and mind.
2. A man is a protector and not a destroyer of women.
3. A man is not measured by having sex or how he bounces and throws a ball.
4. A man is measured by how he contributes to the well being of those he comes in contact with.
5. A man that talks about his sexual exploits is really hurting and looking for attention.
6. Not everyone that is older than you is wiser than you. Think for yourself.
7. It is ok to be different from everyone else.
8. It is not love to hurt someone.
9. Most of what your friends tell you they have done with a girl is a lie.
10. Ask me anything you need to know. I will not judge, laugh or punish you. You can trust me to give it to you straight.
This interview is a public reminder of the private battle(s) that our kids are facing everyday. BMWK, as a parent, how do you fight for the mind of your child, everyday?