My daughters are smart, sweet, and energetic and already know their future careers. My husband and I will be the proud parents of a future journalist, chef, artist and soccer player (keep in mind it’s only two of them). But the area that needed improvement was their willingness to lead.
A constant question I had was, “How do parents instill drive, motivation, and leadership qualities into a child?” I used to think you either have it or you don’t. Through my own journey I am clear it can arrive at any time. My children remind me a lot of myself as a girl. I knew what I wanted but wasted a lot of time sitting in the background waiting. Even in college, as I had also done in high school, I watched fellow students who were hungry for success step up, take charge and pursue their passions. This is what I desire for my girls.
As I paid attention to my children’s interaction with friends I was beginning to see a few familiar patterns. I noticed them shying away from the spotlight. Not that they have to be directly in the spotlight, but small things like passing on an opportunity they were passionate about so a friend could have it instead. Or wanting to be part of a group they weren’t really interested in that a friend created just to be a part of it, instead of creating a group based on their own interest.
I never wanted them to be those take charge, selfish children none of the other children wanted to play with. What I do want is for them to be confident leaders who will not stand in the shadow waiting for opportunity. My constant prayer is that they are fearless and fully pursue their passions (even when they change a few times). It would break my heart if as adults they are stuck in a place they never intended to be.
To coach our children into leadership my husband and I are teaching them to value and trust themselves. In addition to ensuring they receive a quality education and excel in their studies, we also encourage them to trust their ideas and abilities. From the moment they could understand the words that were coming out of my mouth I have affirmed how wonderful, smart and beautiful they are. Guess what? They believed me. We also give our undivided attention when they share a story, dance move or skit, reminding them of the power in their voice and how much what they say matters.
We make their interests our interests. If an interest is expressed to write, we encourage them to join the journalism club at school and buy materials to support that interest. If it is soccer, we sign them right up. When our daughters take on a hobby we share our expectations for them to always give 110%. Our only request is a full commitment. They are not allowed to half-do anything. Of course it is a continuous process, but I feel we are already in a really great place.
I am excited that my youngest started a non-school related club even though none of her friends are interested. She is still just as excited because it is what she enjoys. And for our oldest to pursue writing for the school newspaper and have an article in a teen magazine ensures me that our plan to raise leaders is in full swing.
BMWK, how are you raising your children to be leaders?