Lately, each time we see or hear from crooner Robin Thicke, estranged husband of actress Paula Patton, he’s either singing passionately about his wife coming home, naming an entire album after her, or actually apologizing and verbally begging for her immediate return. Anyone who watched the BET Awards and witnessed Robin’s public plea for Paula to forgive him had to feel some kind of way.
On one hand, I sometimes think he’s receiving the treatment he deserves, but on the other, a large part of me hopes they are able to reconcile and heal their marriage. I’m not privy to all of the details surrounding Robin and Paula’s split, but according to reports infidelity is supposedly the culprit.
We have all made poor decisions in our lives. Some have cost us jobs, opportunities and even relationships. If there was a way to take a quick time travel into the future just to experience the consequences of our choices, we would all be smarter and more considerate with our actions.
Whenever I think about infidelity and errors that jeopardize a marriage, I remember an internal promise I made years ago regarding my husband. I vowed mentally, as I was having lunch with my husband early on in our marriage, to never be responsible for causing him any pain. 16 years in and I’m still completely invested in that promise. However, if I ever have a lapse in judgement, I’m willing to put up a fight to save my marriage. I love my husband and what we’ve built. If there were ever a threat to our relationship, and I was the reason, I would quickly push pride aside and make it clearly known, I’m willing to do what’s necessary to resuscitate my union.
I wonder how many other individuals are willing to go to battle for their partnerships. The fight I’m speaking of goes well beyond our personal hiccups, and should be occurring throughout the marriage. Making those small sacrifices along the way, like considering your spouse’s feelings before you react or respond during conflict, is an excellent way to continuously protect your relationship. Promptly removing yourself from situations that entice you and threaten your ability to remain faithful is another. Of course there are tons of precautions we should take initially, but when we’ve messed up there are actions we must be open to take in order to get back into our spouse’s good graces.
I’ve discovered my marriage is worth the fight. I can’t be too prideful when it comes to love. Love conquers all. The benefits I receive from the love affair with my husband far exceed any pride that causes me to lose it. I love what 1 Corinthians 13 says about love: Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love — real love — is grown folks business. It shouldn’t be entered into lightly. If ever it struggles, couples must be willing to give up everything for its survival, especially pride. There should never be any shame in professing our love for our spouse.
BMWK, How far would you go to save your marriage?