One of the best things that you can do for your partner and yourself is to be honest with them about your health. December 1st is World AIDS Day, an annual opportunity for people worldwide to unite in the fight against HIV, and one of those ways is through knowledge.
I talked with Dr. Gameli Dekayie-Amenu from Besties M.D. about HIV in the Black community and other STDs that can affect your health and your relationship.
BMWK: What are some common excuses people engaged in sexual activity have for failing to use protection in 2015?
Dr. Dekayie-Amenu:
- Ignorance: Some people are simply unaware of the importance of safety. They may have never been taught how to protect themselves nor the consequences that can come with unsafe sex. Conversely, there is also a need to know where protection can fail them. For example, did you know lamb-skin condoms can still transmit HIV and HPV? Or that condoms for those with latex allergies break more often? How about that STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) can be transmitted through oral sex?
- Trust: The decision for a couple to not use condoms often times is attributed to a certain level of trust in the relationship. Just because someone wants to have sex with you without a condom does not imply there is trust and commitment. So if your partner says: ‘Don’t you trust me?’ in an effort to go condom-free…this is called manipulation! Asking someone to use a condom does not imply that you do not trust them.
- Denial: “I am not going to get anything!” “She looks clean.” Did you know you could have an STD and not know it? So why not protect yourself and your partner and use condoms until you are both tested?
BMWK: Why are African American women so vulnerable to contracting HIV/AIDS?
Dr. Dekayie-Amenu: Although African American women are acquiring the disease at alarming rates, containing the disease will take the whole community’s involvement. There is no doubt that our community has held a stigma against HIV/AIDS. The reasons behind this are layered and deep, steeped in fear, ignorance, and shame.
These are the same reasons African American women can’t speak up, demand HIV test, empower themselves with knowledge about the disease. How else can a community that makes up the minority of America, make up the majority of new and current HIV/AIDS cases? This alarming public health concern can only be addressed by knowledge.
Change can only come when:
- We know how HIV/AIDS can be acquired and transmitted
- We as a community can talk openly and honestly about sex and sexual choices
- We can empower our young (and older) men and women about the right to ask their partner for an HIV test
- We decide as a community that this is a disease, just like any other, and that people are not their diseases
Only when these things happen can the real work begin to empower our communities towards prevention. Don’t know how to bring up sexual health and history with your partner? Read more here
BMWK: Has HPV been able to be tested or detected in men?
Dr. Dekayie-Amenu: Yes, HPV (Human papillomavirus) can be detected in men through a physical exam by a doctor. However, there are no routine screening tests for men like the Pap Smear test for women. Although the virus by far has been associated with women, it can (rarely) cause cancer to the anus or penis in men. But, when it comes to those pesky genital warts (non-cancerous growths), both sexes can be affected equally.
BMWK: How can women – dating, engaged, and married – be protected from HPV?
Dr. Dekayie-Amenu: As for women, the only protection from HPV is abstinence. Condoms do not provide 100% protection! Because the virus is spread from skin to skin contact, areas not covered by a condom can still transmit the virus. Fortunately, most women will clear the virus on their own within 2 years; even pre-cancerous changes to the cervical cells caused by the virus can be cleared as well.
In terms of prevention, there are two HPV vaccines, Gardasil & Cerverix; both targeting different strains of the virus known to cause warts and cancers of the genital tract. There have been some adverse reactions surrounding these vaccines including reports of allergic reactions, fatigue and even death. In addition, there are concerns for growing resistant strains of the virus.
Many speculate if a majority of these cases are benign and will clear on their own anyway, why not continue to screen routinely and skip the vaccine all together? Whether you choose to get the vaccine or not, we strongly recommend getting pap smears routinely according to your risk level (How Often Should I Get a Pap Smear?). Because cervical cancer can be detected and treated early, there is no reason for one more woman to have to die from cervical cancer caused by the HPV virus!
Don’t let the stigmas keep you silent. Knowing your sexual health status before you become intimate with your partner, whether celibate til marriage or not, is not embarrassing; it’s empowering.
Dr. Gameli Dekayie-Amenu is an Emergency Medicine Physician practicing in Chicago. In addition to actively working as a physician, she has a strong passion for community outreach, women’s health education and mentorship. She is the co- founder of BestiesMD, a nonprofit organization developed to empower women through health education on relatable & sisterly level. Check them out out on youtube.com/bestiesmd.
BMWK Fam, how do you encourage your family and friends to practice safe sex?